Burn Hollywood Burn was OK at most, right?

Emotions that are slowly cooking like rice,
three hours are more than enough to think about life,
sweet or salty, I am sorry.

Enter our home,
talk as if we are strangers,
throw the curtains,
hide under the trees in the garden,
give the sun for shade.

This always happens,
and as long as this house stands,
I know it'll never end.

Seeing where you're coming from,
I try to change (the pictures on the walls),
I try to fix the furniture (the one you restored),
but that'll never matter when the foundation is shaky.

The house is moving,
along with my thoughts,
can we just agree to burn it all?

If we start again,
should we build something new,
should we try and forget what I put you through?

Or should I burn,
along with this house,
should I just stand still,
and be judged for what I've done.

I was ready,
I think I still am,
I just don't want you around,
in the way you used to be.
I'm ready to burn this all,
I'm ready to burn with it.

With a sight,
with little hope,
I know you'll be able to forget me.

Never remember me,
stop thinking of this,
let these words open the doors,
as I burn within.

Maybe it'll hurt,
or it could bring me a smile,
I just wish I could stay out of your life.

Fly away forever,
forget who I am,
what I stand for.
You built this house,
it's time for me to burn it down.

Throw away the pictures I have painted,
with my words they were created.
You put them up in our living room,
can't believe what I made.

Destroy everything I've ever touched,
erase me from history,
try to become happy,
that's all you'll ever need,
try to become happy,
since you weren't when you were with me.

You know when someone asks you what you're thinking about and you don't want to answer but yet you do it in a poem(happens all the time)

Round we go,
around my thoughts,
of the nights,
we never spent together.

Founded emotions,
on paint and ink,
smudged by napkins,
forming a blurry portrait.

Through the eyes of enjoyment,
I try to figure this out,
but I would never be able to make up what you're going on about.

Battlefield of love

Emotional fortress built with broken stones,
Battle ram rushing a chill down my bones. 
Forecast rain and mist, 
Cutting down my sight, 
Loud cries followed by their echoes,
On this battlefield of love.
Throwing spears and arrows, 
Shaped as yelled sentences,
Directed at my heart,
Even the quiet whispers are able to do their part.

As the gates came crushing, 
You just stood still. 
Saw what was inside,
Witnessed the terror within,
Giving up the fight,
Ending it with one touch. 
Our shields were thrown away,
Your ships were waiting at bay,
As tears fall on your face, 
I stand broken.

This short war, 
Lasted an eternity,
Although no casualties, 
We mourn as if it were millions. 
Love is gone, 
Yet death is missing.
It is over,
Yet we are both hurting. 
Saying we are happy during our breakdowns, 
I try to hide it, 
But I will always love you 

Becoming a ghost

There's this song I always come back to,
It reminds me of the day I first met you.
No other words mean as much to me as the lyrics that were sang in the song,
it's a constant reminder of how we held on for so long.
You might've been just a ghost but you knew what flesh felt like,
you knew what a hug meant and how to treat someone in the cold night.
You were no stranger to love and comfort,
you were the definition of kindness,
you managed to treat me from my social blindness.
You allowed me to open up to you,
share my story and my pain.
From that point on I knew what you meant,
I knew what you wanted,
but I never provided.
Now I'm the ghost you once spoke of,
hiding behind the comfort of my keyboard,
playing the role of a person you once knew.

The last farewell this winter brought

And just like that, you're gone,
The memories fade away, you're lost,
No matter the action , the consequences are the same.
The thought of you not being here,
The thought of missing you,
Those are concepts I can't wrap around my head.
With fear I live the upcoming days,
Questioning my own existence,
Questioning my own rebellion, I slowly understand what you meant.
Honestly I miss you,
Nothing I do can bring you back,
But I'm thankful for giving me the chances I once had.

Pale beauty

White as the cold snow,
pure and gentle is your touch,
you are a blessing.

Shamelessly destroying our fantasies

Hiding from the truth,
as if fear comes with it.
Not much can be done,
much less said in the present,
what we all want is not all that pleasant.
Cursing the sentences that debunk our lies,
we watch as another child's fantasy dies.

Absence

Torn pages,
words unspoken.
Thoughts undeveloped,
feelings being neglected.
I've turned into a creature I can't understand.
I've turned into something I cannot stand.

Light that brings me home

With a warmth inside I'm heading home.
Shadows fall as I walk into the dark,
slowly losing the sight of my goals.
Alone, I have killed the sun,
now even the moon fears me.
No one by my side,
getting ready to give up,
I stopped,
opened my eyes,
I saw a light that was running towards me.
Soon a relaxing laugh followed,
in my mind it was hallowed.
The light shone brighter and brighter,
leading me to my personal heaven.
I couldn't believe my eyes,
who on earth would be so twisted,
who'd play such a cruel joke.
I rub my eyes in disbelief,
it was no joke,
the light was real.
With the first touch I realized,
you were the spark,
you were the light.

This month brings old pain

I need something to keep me warm through this winter,
your words froze making me feel like a goner.
This weather is the enemy,
slow and deadly in my fantasy,
your movement on the ice that cracks,
makes me wonder, about the chaos, that follows.
All these days do not pass,
my heart turned black, twas killed by your hand.
I need someone, someone that's not you.
I want to be loved again,
just not in the way you did,
not the love that you gave.
That was a curse and a mistake.
Your smile once had warmth,
now it's the reason for the darkness in this cold December.
Your laugh used to be your charm,
now its a source of harm.
Your beauty was a blessing,
now it's a woken nightmare.
You are the reason why this long cold winter hurts.

Comfort

I had no interest in change,
found my comfort zone,
I wanted to stay there.
I had no interest in change,
none what so ever,
zero,
But then I met you,
I saw your innocent smile,
felt the warmness of your hugs,
the smell of your hair,
and bliss from your eyes.
I turned a new page,
in a new untouched book,
a book pure of emotions.

Light awakens feelings

The morning light pierced through my window,
waking me up from my dream,
in which I was holding your hand.
I never had the intention to get up,
but my phone delivered your messages.
It gave me a reason to open my eyes,
you gave me a reason to wash my face,
you showed me the beauty of the morning light.
Now I spend the nights,
waiting for the light to bring you closer,
not knowing that you'll always be as far as possible.
Emotionally we will never be close,
I love you as much as you hate my company.
You don't want to say it, but it's true,
you can't stand me at all!

The method of your lies

I counted the bodies, Lifeless and cold, I counted the heads, That you left confused. I saw through your lies, A method you always use, But this time you are wrong, And I'll see you fall apart. As the the world evolves, You think it revolves around you, But this time you are wrong, As you don't speak the truth. How can you say that you love, When you love only yourself, Now that you're all alone, You'll be left unknown. You believe in your lies, A method you always use, But this time you are wrong, And those who loved you are gone!

Your beauty behind my eyes

Every time you walk by,
I can feel the love coming from the melody of your steps.
Leaving a scent from the joy you spread,
I stand mesmerized.
All your words are kind,
the kind that can save the world.
Looking in the distance, free of worry,
I'm still hypnotized.
You glow as bright as the full moon,
your smile always makes me bloom.
It would be better if it wasn't just my imagination.

View of a child

Awaken, at last,
I saw the night change into day,
the silence was killed by the vigour of the world.
Peace destroyed by beauty,
I watched as the business occupied our lives.
In nights we want light,
during days we crave for darkness.
Every day is a roller coaster,
ride filled with emotions.
We want it to end,
just to remember.

My wish

Made a wish, but it didn't come true,
I wanted to be only with you.
Instead I got the thing I hate the most,
a hand full of people that I don't even know.
I got the life I never wanted
Always ending back where I started.
The path we walk is more than just the present,
we are building our future, together,
and somehow we are always alone.
We are together spending time with the people we can't stand,
spending our days knowing that we all just pretend.
I'm tired of being spineless,
lost and as hopeless as much I am lifeless.
Spending my days the way you want me to,
althought I know I leave it as it is,
and it is all because of your tease.
Can all of this be changed,
can my wish finally be embraced,
I can never love what I got,
as long as it's not what I want.

Lost between doors

Forward you go, although your life stands still. Left, you look, trying to catch a glimpse of the things you don't know. Right, you think, you think as this is your creation. Backwards, you speak, making no sense as you freely roam the hall, the hall of life, opening doors that should forever remain shut, causing pain and distress, causing meltdowns. As you open one door you close another, leaving me behind in a room with light slowly fading. As darkness surrounds me, you lock the door, never looking back, forward you go!

Emotionless and broken

As cold as the ice, As deep as the ocean, My emotions, No longer in motion. Love is gone , Hate is forgotten , Emotionless , I'm becoming rotten . The day of love is near, Allowing me to see clear, Breathless, I'm breaking down. You never loved, Nor did you care , Your words, lied, As my hopes, died. My will is now lost, My life is tied into knots, I'm standing lifeless and still, There is nothing i can feel. You live your life just to win, I live it in order not to get defeated, We are like plus and minus , I'm the clown you're the highness . I'm left empty and broken, With thoughts unclear and words unspoken , Emotionless again, I will never be my former self. I am nothing but a shadow, I'm just a ghost, You were the parasite , I was your host, There are but a few emotions left in me , Those are the ones you cannot see , Emotions that i willingly hide, Grasping time to make up my mind.

Letter 1: Ar

I never thought that it will come to this, me writing a letter just to express how I'm feeling. I'm just wondering what went wrong since you aren't saying a word. It's been a year since we met, sicne we chose OUR favorite song, OUR favorite movie. I guess this world is cursed and plagued without a possible escape route. I'm just wondering what I did to piss you off...
Now I am so sick of those crappy love songs on the radio. I'm sick of them because we used to listen to them together, we used to sing along, we used to have fun. What did become of our friendship? We became strangers in a matter of seconds. You were not the first person to go, but you hurt the most...
I remember our long conversations, I even remember the silence and how it was broken with your cute laughter. You were everything I wished for, a friend that knows how I feel without having to explain anything, but suddenly you turned into a landslide while I was resembling the city beneath you.
Huh, all those conversations about being here for each other... Guess I should've never believed words, I should've known that talk is cheap.
Well I do not know about you but I am afraid of being alone, I'm afraid of leaving tonight. I think I'm lost without you. I know that this is useless because I am young and stupid, remaining wide and open while my heart is wasted. I know this because every time I try to look for you the sun goes down, leaving a void in my day. Void filled with darkness, aggression and depression.
Hell, I even miss you like the summer.

Feelings shouldn't always stay hidden

She is alive
Or so I believe
She dived in
And got kicked down
Never got up
She got caught
In a battle she shouldn't have known about
She fought my battle
And now I cannot do anything to ease her pain
Everything she did was in vain
I am the one to blame
I should be ashamed
Somehow I'm not
A monster is what I've become
Damage is all I've done
But not to me
Thats the problem
Everyone around me is getting hurt
People I care about are now in the dirt
Never knew what power could bring
It corrupts the good and destroys evil
It hurts me to see her suffer
I remember sleeping on and on on the stairwell
I remember when we fell apart on the weekends
I liked the little rush she got
When she was standing close to death
Like when she was driving me crazy
You know I never told her that she meant something to me
It's all my fault