I need you

The longest summer break,
was the hardest one I had to face.
Met a lot of new people,
but I lost you.
No one can replace the space you freed up,
this is not what we agreed upon.
This trusting,
disgusts me,
I did what I said I would,
but you never tried to do what you could.
The words of love were unclear,
yet I believed you when you shed a tear.
I believed you when you cried,
and I still want to believe you even when you lie.
After everything you did,
I forgive you.
After everything you said,
I need you.

Shamelessly destroying our fantasies

Hiding from the truth,
as if fear comes with it.
Not much can be done,
much less said in the present,
what we all want is not all that pleasant.
Cursing the sentences that debunk our lies,
we watch as another child's fantasy dies.

Hope for another shot at life

Shot after shot,
you miss your own heart.
Trying to end it all,

just because of one missed call.
Your life is worth so much more,

it's not worth giving up because of that stupid old bore.

Don't you know,

he is a man-whore,
he is not someone you should adore.
Open your eyes,
and look around,

you'll miss the fun,

and I'll miss your beauty.
When everything is done,

you'll be happy for what once had to come. 

Absence

Torn pages,
words unspoken.
Thoughts undeveloped,
feelings being neglected.
I've turned into a creature I can't understand.
I've turned into something I cannot stand.

Your mistakes are my burden

  Caught myself thinking of the past, everything that I hoped to last. Everything I do is somehow connected with all of the things I've done for you. I gave up my free time just so  you can have what you wanted, just so you can have the attention you asked for.
  We slowly came closer, as time went by I missed you when you were away. You told me lies that I believed. Once again you managed to deceive.
I tried to leave you but I never could, I came back to you like I always do. I came back wanting you to for give me for the mistakes that you've done, I wanted forgiveness for something I didn't do.
And after all of our troubles, you decided to leave without saying a word. You left after you told me the truth. The truth about your feelings, deeds and plans. Was that the truth you wanted me to believe or was it the truth you believed in... I guess I will never know.
All that is left now are the three words I constantly repeat, all is left is to let you know that somehow, for whatever reason I miss you.

Lost between doors

Forward you go, although your life stands still. Left, you look, trying to catch a glimpse of the things you don't know. Right, you think, you think as this is your creation. Backwards, you speak, making no sense as you freely roam the hall, the hall of life, opening doors that should forever remain shut, causing pain and distress, causing meltdowns. As you open one door you close another, leaving me behind in a room with light slowly fading. As darkness surrounds me, you lock the door, never looking back, forward you go!

The story of a student

So you got everything off your chest,
thinking that I will regret my actions,
wanting me to face the sanctions.
You told me I was a know-it-all,
and you wanted me to believe your lies,
you built a wall of emotions,
slowly following my motions,
and proclaiming I'm a fraud,
maybe just maybe you are mad cause I'm better.
What I say is what I know,
What I don't know is what I learn,
you say what you think is right,
not checking facts,
you say it with all your might,
your mind is a paradox,
you said that we were similar,
but I rarely get offended when someones different.
We had the same goal,
but on your way you fell down a hole,
now you are broken with dreams shattered,
so you decided to be my master,
in every story the student becomes better,
you sold out,
so i made my life matter,
you taught me everything you knew,
but your words were wrong,
therefore I left your temple,
I went my own way,
and became something greater,
I surpassed your prodigy son,
and now,now you went on a hunt,
but this time the hunter is being hunted,
the battle of two mind has started,
but I am being hated and villainized for something I didn't do
while you are adored cause you do just that, nothing,
I cannot remember the last time I learned something,
but all you do is take credit for someone else's work
such selfishness and jealousy,
you sicken me!

Plastic Memories

 After the death of someone close, we are left with only bitter sweet memories, Memories with the power to make a person insane. After all that's what memories are for, reminding us of the dead. That's what I'm so afraid of, I fear the memories that leave us torn between the past and present. They are the destruction of the desire to live, they are the main cause of depression and aggression. They have the power to change a man like no other thing. No matter how many pleasant memories you have with someone, no matter what you have done for them, you'll always feel like you have done nothing in order to repay them, We take everything for granted, not knowing that we can lose everything we own in matter of seconds. What you will be left is nothing more than a broken heart and bitter nights with handful of destructive memories. I do not understand why people want to make memories, why on earth would you want to make something that will end up hurting you... Is really one nice thing worth all the trouble and pain?

Why are you like this?

   Why are you always like this? Don't you feel like it's unnecessary to be angry at me for such things, or did I really cross the line? 

You mean a lot to me, I know you can tell, but you always find the dumbest reasons to be mad at me.   Like, you hang out with people who aren't familiar with everyday communication skills.  You are befriending people who only know how to spend their money on alcohol and cigarettes. Worst of all you are befriending those who think that if they have money they are badass. 

  I don't understand why you are always getting mad at me, huh, you never get mad at my actions, no, you get mad at my jokes and my attempts to keep the jokes running. Shit, you never get mad at me when I have a bad view about a serious topic but you can't stand it when I try to tell your joke from my point of view, but you are totally allowed to do so. 

Is it my fault? Should I be like you or should I try to change? You know, to tell you the truth I don't care anymore. If you want to stick around I really couldn't tell you how happy it would make me be, but if you have no intentions then please don't make me like you because you will only break me down. 

Letter 1: Ar

I never thought that it will come to this, me writing a letter just to express how I'm feeling. I'm just wondering what went wrong since you aren't saying a word. It's been a year since we met, sicne we chose OUR favorite song, OUR favorite movie. I guess this world is cursed and plagued without a possible escape route. I'm just wondering what I did to piss you off...
Now I am so sick of those crappy love songs on the radio. I'm sick of them because we used to listen to them together, we used to sing along, we used to have fun. What did become of our friendship? We became strangers in a matter of seconds. You were not the first person to go, but you hurt the most...
I remember our long conversations, I even remember the silence and how it was broken with your cute laughter. You were everything I wished for, a friend that knows how I feel without having to explain anything, but suddenly you turned into a landslide while I was resembling the city beneath you.
Huh, all those conversations about being here for each other... Guess I should've never believed words, I should've known that talk is cheap.
Well I do not know about you but I am afraid of being alone, I'm afraid of leaving tonight. I think I'm lost without you. I know that this is useless because I am young and stupid, remaining wide and open while my heart is wasted. I know this because every time I try to look for you the sun goes down, leaving a void in my day. Void filled with darkness, aggression and depression.
Hell, I even miss you like the summer.