The last farewell this winter brought

And just like that, you're gone,
The memories fade away, you're lost,
No matter the action , the consequences are the same.
The thought of you not being here,
The thought of missing you,
Those are concepts I can't wrap around my head.
With fear I live the upcoming days,
Questioning my own existence,
Questioning my own rebellion, I slowly understand what you meant.
Honestly I miss you,
Nothing I do can bring you back,
But I'm thankful for giving me the chances I once had.

Emotionless and broken

As cold as the ice, As deep as the ocean, My emotions, No longer in motion. Love is gone , Hate is forgotten , Emotionless , I'm becoming rotten . The day of love is near, Allowing me to see clear, Breathless, I'm breaking down. You never loved, Nor did you care , Your words, lied, As my hopes, died. My will is now lost, My life is tied into knots, I'm standing lifeless and still, There is nothing i can feel. You live your life just to win, I live it in order not to get defeated, We are like plus and minus , I'm the clown you're the highness . I'm left empty and broken, With thoughts unclear and words unspoken , Emotionless again, I will never be my former self. I am nothing but a shadow, I'm just a ghost, You were the parasite , I was your host, There are but a few emotions left in me , Those are the ones you cannot see , Emotions that i willingly hide, Grasping time to make up my mind.

Feelings shouldn't always stay hidden

She is alive
Or so I believe
She dived in
And got kicked down
Never got up
She got caught
In a battle she shouldn't have known about
She fought my battle
And now I cannot do anything to ease her pain
Everything she did was in vain
I am the one to blame
I should be ashamed
Somehow I'm not
A monster is what I've become
Damage is all I've done
But not to me
Thats the problem
Everyone around me is getting hurt
People I care about are now in the dirt
Never knew what power could bring
It corrupts the good and destroys evil
It hurts me to see her suffer
I remember sleeping on and on on the stairwell
I remember when we fell apart on the weekends
I liked the little rush she got
When she was standing close to death
Like when she was driving me crazy
You know I never told her that she meant something to me
It's all my fault

It's your turn to suffer

Ever since our conversation, it's like you went missing. Not a single sign from you, you do not even go out with your "friends" anymore. Looks like my prophecy was right, they were just using you. I cannot say that you've changed, because you still remain the same lying,pathetic fool. You still try tricking people into believing your innocence, while I'm getting my shovel to dig in deeper just to bury the castle. The castle of glass and lies you've created.
It's just like in my dreams where I can feel your ghost on the dancefloor, crying for more attention. I've never knew that I can do this, never knew that I would be able to cause so much pain upon someone and I cannot lie it feels amazing. Your sojourn in my heart was painful, but this, THIS makes it up for it. Now I am become "Death", destroyer of world, the destroyer of your world, of your dreams. It's like we've become each other. You've been my death for so long, now this is just a mere pay back. And trust me, this is only the beginning!

Changes ruin people

Simplicity is the answer to an utterly beautiful life, but that is not in our nature. We are the perfect living beings yet we are the most disgusting, most brutal, vile among others. Doing everything that is in your power just to make someone happy, when suddenly someone walks in with what they wish for, with what you were trying to achieve just for them, huh, such a strange world. You won't even receive a thank you, but instead of staying quite you choose to speak with the thought that your words will matter. Haven't you learned anything? If you actions won't matter to them why on earth do you think that your words will make a difference? You will be empty like the day after Christmas, everyone will talk about you, little will like you.
What will happen to you, only time will tell, paranoia will never leave you. Your last hope will burn down, your emotions will be blown out by the tides, you will become what you hate the most.
But that will only happen once the person who screw you over will be asking for your help. Yes, only then you will know what a sadist feels. You will be the one in control, you will be the one hurting people. That is the only feeling worth living for once you are hurt, betrayed, destroyed. That is the only time when your dreams will come real. Only then will your insomnia end, only then you will feel happiness again. None will be able to save them. No one.

Love destroys everything

Everything happens for a reason
Everything happens within a season
I think about you everyday
But I'm not worthy to play
I was set up on dead bet
Putting all hopes to bed
I enjoyed the little rushed you had
Standing close to death
But I cannot lie it was driving me crazy

And now when you are physically so close to me
I cannot talk to you
I cannot even hug you
What happened?
What did I do wrong?
Was all of this my doing?
Or do you simply dislike me 'cause I'm different
You told me to never change
Yet you were the one who changed me
You told me that you enjoyed spending time together
Yet you ran away from me

I have an urge to scream and cry
But grown ups shouldn't whine
I've never been this much in love
To tell you the truth I don't know if I've been in love before
You were a great example of what I should avoid
Because girls like you make me annoyed and destroyed
Now I'm left paranoid