20 January, 2019

Same story just a new year ( Watching Samurai Champloo for the twentieth time)

Even though almost a month has passed,
I still do the same old things,
I still go to the same places,
and I still think of the same faces.

I said I was going to change,
and that this would be a new chapter,
but ever year I feel the same way.

Tried running away,
but I realized I got no where to stay,
slowly walking back to where I came from.

All this time I thought I couldn't stand you,
or at least I acted like that,
but deep down,
I knew you were someone I'd always keep close,
deep down,
I knew.

02 January, 2019

I still go to malls in hopes of reliving that moment when we went to one together

In the middle of the night,
let me wake up,
think about you.

Get a call,
as you left from work,
let me hear your voice,
that calming noise.

Late at night, try to get the feeling right,
warm laughs hiding the neck bites,
turn on the lights, let me admire your face and your smile,
make this place feel like it's the only place where I need to be,
for a while.

Remember those three days we spent,
pleasantly sure there's no regret,
I can feel that.
Make sure you hold on to this memory, without the regrets,
but make sure you won't miss the time of the day,
where you have your phone in your hand,
cause pictures are all we have now.
Some how,
pictures are all we have now.

Late night, try to get the feeling right,
warm laughs hiding the neck bites,
turn on the lights, let me admire your face (and your beautiful smile),
make this place feel like the place where I need to be,
forever.

18 December, 2018

Why does every country song sound the same, yet it doesn't?

Part I

Does beauty come from the one who is considered beautiful?
or does it come from my eyes,
filtered pictures by my mind.

Who do I blame for my addiction,
your gorgeous face or my blurry sight,
the lonely mind,
and a broken heart.

Getting used to being sleep deprived,
for I've spent the nights smiling,
and although I regret not sleeping,
I could never regret staying up to talk to you.

Such terrible jokes,
and nerdy thoughts,
fractured phones,
that let us talk.

For the first time I don't have to worry,
for the first time,
where ever I go,
as long as I'm with you,
I can call that place my home.

Part II

Stacking boxes,
playing tetris in your room,
slowly preparing for the worst.

Getting ready for the next step,
learning to swim,
getting your life ready to set sail.

21 November, 2018

Buy a roll of tin foil so we can make birthday hats that can be used as pizza cone molds

Flirt with the concept of a better life,
search for happiness with all your might.
Fly away,
try to run away,
don't wait,
just try to stay safe.

Can't find peace in this place,
so fly far away at your own pace,
as I await the message of your departure,
I try to hide the tears.

Hope you're well rested,
you'll soon be tested,
by time, don't get outbested,
get your legacy well nested,
cause a long flight's ahead,
longer fights await,
hope the little wings of this birdy can stand,
don't let them get your will to bend.

25 October, 2018

Did I just get ultied by Faceless Void in real life?

I was 20 when I turned 13,
and after that I never changed.
7 years later I'm still the same age,
hoping that I'll start to grow old.

The only difference,
my posture got worse,
my sight got murky,
but my age still remained the same.

Didn't get any wiser,
i wanted to catch up,
but I only got caught up,
in the grips of your love,
making me think about life,
thinking about the seven twenty years I've lived.

19 October, 2018

Burn Hollywood Burn was OK at most, right?

Emotions that are slowly cooking like rice,
three hours are more than enough to think about life,
sweet or salty, I am sorry.

Enter our home,
talk as if we are strangers,
throw the curtains,
hide under the trees in the garden,
give the sun for shade.

This always happens,
and as long as this house stands,
I know it'll never end.

Seeing where you're coming from,
I try to change (the pictures on the walls),
I try to fix the furniture (the one you restored),
but that'll never matter when the foundation is shaky.

The house is moving,
along with my thoughts,
can we just agree to burn it all?

If we start again,
should we build something new,
should we try and forget what I put you through?

Or should I burn,
along with this house,
should I just stand still,
and be judged for what I've done.

I was ready,
I think I still am,
I just don't want you around,
in the way you used to be.
I'm ready to burn this all,
I'm ready to burn with it.

With a sight,
with little hope,
I know you'll be able to forget me.

Never remember me,
stop thinking of this,
let these words open the doors,
as I burn within.

Maybe it'll hurt,
or it could bring me a smile,
I just wish I could stay out of your life.

Fly away forever,
forget who I am,
what I stand for.
You built this house,
it's time for me to burn it down.

Throw away the pictures I have painted,
with my words they were created.
You put them up in our living room,
can't believe what I made.

Destroy everything I've ever touched,
erase me from history,
try to become happy,
that's all you'll ever need,
try to become happy,
since you weren't when you were with me.

10 October, 2018

The art of getting by, is not even art

One week left to live,
four months of which I'll never speak.

People come and enter,
but your make up will always stay on my shirts.
The truth won't matter as long as you smile,
history will repeat,
once more,
we will meet.

Now with space between us,
I had it all.
Now I act with such demeanor,
I had it all.

Soaking wet,
from the tears of the clouds,
yearning our goodbye.
Loved be those poor geese and ducks,
fighting the cold as we hide under our sheets.

No matter the space between us,
I still have you.

With hopes of seeing a rainbow,
fighting over unicorns,
nothing ever happens,
patience,
sleep half of the day,
it's called patience.
Looking so peaceful,
hearing my whisper,
yelling out of fear,
you got up.

Thought you never listened,
thought you never listened,
I thought.
Did you hear,
you're really all I need.

Now with space between us,
I had it all.
No matter the space between us,
I still have you.

One night I'll never forget,
one handed torture devices that make us laugh.
One handed laughing methods leave us bruised through the days,
yet love will spark,
it'll always spark.

As the geese come out of hiding,
we leave our comfort,
entering waters we thought we'd never swim,
drying our thoughts just so we can go back home.

Spent the broken days outspoken,
money sorted, farewell my old friend.
Enter a new chapter,
same spotlight, you became more.

Now with space between us,
I realize,
I love you more than I should.