Riding a rickshaw through the uneven lines in my hair that I made when I tried cutting my hair

 I tried to be a changed man,
so I shaved the sides of my head,
but it quickly grew back out,
now I'm drowning in pointless doubt.

Could it be what you said,
cause it haunts me when I'm in bed.
Few words on repeat,
just seem stuck in my head.

I tried to be a changed man,
but habits don't die young,
running up on empty,
ever since I left me.
And my confidence is tanking,
I just need my better half,
but they're all getting busy
with things that never meant.
So how's the weather, lady?
and is your dog eating well?
Should I bother bout your family,
cause you seem so uninterested.

Characters slowly change

Hooked, I think is the word,
addicted, is what I am.
Your absence is slowly killing me,
I can't take it, not used to it,
never will be.
Your perfume, your smile, your kindness,
somethings never stay the same.
How I hoped,
and for the first time I even prayed.
You never came back.

Comfort

I had no interest in change,
found my comfort zone,
I wanted to stay there.
I had no interest in change,
none what so ever,
zero,
But then I met you,
I saw your innocent smile,
felt the warmness of your hugs,
the smell of your hair,
and bliss from your eyes.
I turned a new page,
in a new untouched book,
a book pure of emotions.

Staying warm during the cold season

  The fall is slowly coming to an end, although these feelings did not fade. Every year is like the one before, I jealously observe the actions of those that are around you. The weather makes me feel unpleasant, the smell of winter makes me worried, making me fear the season I love the most.
  As snow falls the feelings start to burn, keeping me warm and safe, making me push away the things I love. Pushing you away..
  How can one guy stop this fading, is it not possible to find the cure for all of this...
I'm tired of the same story every year, the same problems that I can't overcome. For once I want to feel something new, I want to see something that has not been seen, I want to be something I'm not.
  I want to be with you!

The story of a student

So you got everything off your chest,
thinking that I will regret my actions,
wanting me to face the sanctions.
You told me I was a know-it-all,
and you wanted me to believe your lies,
you built a wall of emotions,
slowly following my motions,
and proclaiming I'm a fraud,
maybe just maybe you are mad cause I'm better.
What I say is what I know,
What I don't know is what I learn,
you say what you think is right,
not checking facts,
you say it with all your might,
your mind is a paradox,
you said that we were similar,
but I rarely get offended when someones different.
We had the same goal,
but on your way you fell down a hole,
now you are broken with dreams shattered,
so you decided to be my master,
in every story the student becomes better,
you sold out,
so i made my life matter,
you taught me everything you knew,
but your words were wrong,
therefore I left your temple,
I went my own way,
and became something greater,
I surpassed your prodigy son,
and now,now you went on a hunt,
but this time the hunter is being hunted,
the battle of two mind has started,
but I am being hated and villainized for something I didn't do
while you are adored cause you do just that, nothing,
I cannot remember the last time I learned something,
but all you do is take credit for someone else's work
such selfishness and jealousy,
you sicken me!

I thought about you

    It's been a while since the last time you ran through my mind and I have to say nothing is the same, your presence changed everything, it kept me sane. It's impossible to forget you no matter how hard I try. 
      When I think of you I have this picture of a blade of ice, lonely road, clear day, always sharp and cold, always beautiful. I am such a fool, why can't I simply give up? I know that we will never talk again but I cannot stop thinking about you. I hate you for saying that you'd always be by my side! I hate you for the kind acts you did. I hate you for helping me, for picking me up when I needed someone the most! I hate you because you cared about me... Why were you so nice? Why did you show me how it felt to be loved? You changed me completely! I hate the fact that I cannot hate you.
     No matter what you do just know that you will always have a place in my heart although I know that you wouldn't care and I do not blame you. I'm not worth of your time, and I know that we weren't so similar to begin with but I cannot stop feeling like the universe has left me without a place to go, leaving me somewhere between light and darkness, making me a spectator of your movement. I once had the power to guide you just as you guided my path, now I'm nothing more than a grain of sand. I am scared of the dark, yet I cannot step into the light because of you.
Society says that boys don't cry but I cannot prevent myself from doing so when I'm thinking about you.
 Until we meet again, slan...

Changes ruin people

Simplicity is the answer to an utterly beautiful life, but that is not in our nature. We are the perfect living beings yet we are the most disgusting, most brutal, vile among others. Doing everything that is in your power just to make someone happy, when suddenly someone walks in with what they wish for, with what you were trying to achieve just for them, huh, such a strange world. You won't even receive a thank you, but instead of staying quite you choose to speak with the thought that your words will matter. Haven't you learned anything? If you actions won't matter to them why on earth do you think that your words will make a difference? You will be empty like the day after Christmas, everyone will talk about you, little will like you.
What will happen to you, only time will tell, paranoia will never leave you. Your last hope will burn down, your emotions will be blown out by the tides, you will become what you hate the most.
But that will only happen once the person who screw you over will be asking for your help. Yes, only then you will know what a sadist feels. You will be the one in control, you will be the one hurting people. That is the only feeling worth living for once you are hurt, betrayed, destroyed. That is the only time when your dreams will come real. Only then will your insomnia end, only then you will feel happiness again. None will be able to save them. No one.

Life then and now

Being alive yet having no life left, that is what you will feel if you walk a mile in my sneakers. I meet people that are too perfect, or so I think. Little do I know I'm befriending fools, deceivers, liars, renegades. Everything I try to do ends up being pointless. Never understood what's so great about life when you cannot share it with someone. It feels like no one wants to listen to what you have to say, no matter how important it is.
Hah, here I am laughing at myself because I do not want to admit it that I'm too depressed. I remember when I was just a child, I remember the days when I still felt alive, when I couldn't wait to go outside, the world was so wide back than and now here I am I cannot wait till I get home just to pass the time in my room all alone. I was so naive back then, such an innocent child, I thought that this world was a beautiful place.
I hate how little changed in this world, but I've completely changed. Now I see this world with disgust, nothing more than a place filled with beautiful things that are waiting to be ruined by mankind. I just want to go outside and scream and swear. I hate it how everyone tells me that time will make everything better, hell, I hate it when I tell myself that time will make everything better. The only thing that can make this world a better place is a loved one.
Yeah, I know it's cheesy but I think it's true. In a time when everyone backstabs each other, I think that finding a bastard you love with all your heart will make everything more easier. Too bad I cannot experience that. All I've been doing is falling in love with the wrong people, with people who seemed so sweet at the start, but the start was all wrong. People who said that they speak from their hearts, altough their hearts' all gone. Yet out of all people you make my time stand still, you are live vilence to me, you kill me, yet you have me forever and after. I feel like a hostage with a stockholm syndrome when I'm around you. You want it to be your way, no matter what, even if it means putting my life in danger just for your own benefit and within the same moment I immediately do what you say. She is unstoppable, unpredictable, I'm so jaded,calculated and WRONG. Please take me home, it's too late now, I'm gone.
I'm lost in this world, confused, tired, destroyed. I'm a real case of walking dead. I'm lifeless even though I'm alive.