Even the mirrors lie (You do look different in person, although it could be cause I don't have my glasses)/I'm being honest trust me.

To lose everything is impossible,
but losing you was the closest thing to it,
as my habits slowly started to change,
so did you.

In the winter you said goodbye,
making a blizzard.
You wished me good luck,
I just stood frozen.
So in the summer I tried running away from the continent,
went oh so far away,
hoping to never see you again.
Although you're not here,
you're still with me,
I'm just wondering if you ever miss me.

I hope that one day we will start acting like grown ups,
no more hiding, lets break our walnut shells.
Let's just live our lives,
the way we wanted.
Let's just live our lives,
that's all I'm asking for.

Truly alone

With a wish to feel happiness,
with a wish to see your face once again,
I feel as if I'm alone, put up against the world.

With memories of those high school days,
with memories of the sickening feeling called love,
I long for the day of the end.

Nothing I do or say,
nothing will stop this pain,
such a long and lonely road through the night.

Wasting everything I have,
wasting the time I once longed for,
now I know what it means to be truly alone.

Light that brings me home

With a warmth inside I'm heading home.
Shadows fall as I walk into the dark,
slowly losing the sight of my goals.
Alone, I have killed the sun,
now even the moon fears me.
No one by my side,
getting ready to give up,
I stopped,
opened my eyes,
I saw a light that was running towards me.
Soon a relaxing laugh followed,
in my mind it was hallowed.
The light shone brighter and brighter,
leading me to my personal heaven.
I couldn't believe my eyes,
who on earth would be so twisted,
who'd play such a cruel joke.
I rub my eyes in disbelief,
it was no joke,
the light was real.
With the first touch I realized,
you were the spark,
you were the light.

Your mistakes are my burden

  Caught myself thinking of the past, everything that I hoped to last. Everything I do is somehow connected with all of the things I've done for you. I gave up my free time just so  you can have what you wanted, just so you can have the attention you asked for.
  We slowly came closer, as time went by I missed you when you were away. You told me lies that I believed. Once again you managed to deceive.
I tried to leave you but I never could, I came back to you like I always do. I came back wanting you to for give me for the mistakes that you've done, I wanted forgiveness for something I didn't do.
And after all of our troubles, you decided to leave without saying a word. You left after you told me the truth. The truth about your feelings, deeds and plans. Was that the truth you wanted me to believe or was it the truth you believed in... I guess I will never know.
All that is left now are the three words I constantly repeat, all is left is to let you know that somehow, for whatever reason I miss you.

My wish

Made a wish, but it didn't come true,
I wanted to be only with you.
Instead I got the thing I hate the most,
a hand full of people that I don't even know.
I got the life I never wanted
Always ending back where I started.
The path we walk is more than just the present,
we are building our future, together,
and somehow we are always alone.
We are together spending time with the people we can't stand,
spending our days knowing that we all just pretend.
I'm tired of being spineless,
lost and as hopeless as much I am lifeless.
Spending my days the way you want me to,
althought I know I leave it as it is,
and it is all because of your tease.
Can all of this be changed,
can my wish finally be embraced,
I can never love what I got,
as long as it's not what I want.

Can't stop thinking about you

A year has gone by,
yet I still try,
I try to reach you,
I try to touch you,
still every attempt is a fail.

Your eyes used to be the light,
your smile used to be the way
your laughter used to be inspiring.
Now your absence is my suffering.

I endure only pain,
happiness I no longer gain,
beauty I no longer see,
I'm drowning in misery.

As days go by,
we grow apart more and more,
all I'm left with-a heart that feels sore.
What hurts more is that you've written my lore!
   
You've foreseen my future,
and you knew about my past.
I guess you didn't want it to last!

You can't be more wrong

You think I'm doing fine,
But darling you've got no idea what's on my mind.
Every night I fight my fears,
I fight the fear of dying alone,
I fight the fear of losing you, again,
For once I want to be able to hold you,
But you are nowhere to be found,
And when I hold you, I can't feel you,
When I feel you, I can't see you,
When I see you, I don't know you,
Because you're nothing like the girl I once loved.

And now when I can feel you, hold you and see you,
I can't stop reminding myself of how you screwed me over.
You took everything from me,
The only thing left is my sanity,
And even that is questionable.
Nothing is the same since you left me.
Nothing will ever be the same.

What he was and what I am

   So you think you've been through it all, but did you ever care to wonder why? You think you're the centre of attention and you think you are a special star.
The truth is you're nothing more than a bloody whore, a bloody whore that he used to adore!
He used to love you but you left scars on his torso and face, yet he still loved you cause he thought you couldn't be replaced.
   Loneliness you used to be his everything, now you're nowhere to be found. Your absence changed him, even though you told him you'll be forever by his side.
  He trusted you so he became a reject. And although he had a home you made him feel homeless and u unwanted.
You told him that he was worthless and that everyone hated him.
   But now he has become I, I, a guy who just doesn't care, I, a guy who does not love nor a guy who hates. He has become I, a guy who fights for the sake of becoming someone, I, a guy who wants to be remembered!

Haunted by the past

I cannot take this any longer. I am slowly losing my might. I cannot keep up with the present and I cannot see my future. I'm cursed with an eye which is capable of only seeing the past, an eye that sees no light, an eye that is holding me back. Slowly but surely I am losing my mind.
I feel like this life is a movie with the worst plot. A movie about a lonely guy trying to find where he is standing at, goddamn it, he cannot even look at his self, let alone face the world. A movie where the protagonist is a loser who doesn't know when to give up or shut up.
It's sad to say that I am the protagonist of a story with no meaning. The protagonist with eyes that are only seeing the past and present. People say that I'm still young, that there is so much to be explored and experienced, but what do they know? Do they even know what my story is?
They are just a bunch of judgmental pricks, thinking that they know everything... Huh, no wonder why I'm sick of this place. I cannot stand those backstabbing friends.
That is the main reason why I do not share my private life, I do not want to ruin the future I cannot see. Although I'm not sure what good is the life where you cannot leave the past, it's like being with one foot in the grave. A grave filled with unpleasant memories and untold stories.
Yet the other foot brings hope, it is fighting the pain from the events that no longer exist. It gives me a reason to live another day, to wake up and do something. The eye that sees the present sees much clearer, but I'm afraid that it won't be enough in the near future.

Nothing is the same

I guess it's that time of the year again. I guess I will have to put up with you again, huh, good thing you cannot stand me either. I cannot wait for all those boring days where we have to sit next to each other,for the days when we will have to work together.
No wonder why I'm depressed knowing that I have to communicate with douchebags. Ahh, why do I have to coexist with such people...
I remember when I was young the world it was smaller, the cities were vast and the buildings were taller, the people were nicer and my parents seemed stronger. Back when I was just getting warned, huh, yeah they warned me about many things. Back when my generation wasn't fucked up...
I miss those days, days when I still felt alive and when I couldn't wait to get outside. All I do is now is sitting in my room being isolated from the real world, thinking about life itself, studying, while most of my generation is going out to drink until they have a blackout.
Time passed so quickly, years went by without me even noticing it. Guess we all grow old faster than we think. We change our interests as we grow, we even lose the trust of some people just by letting time pass by... Such a strange world we grew up in.

It's your turn to suffer

Ever since our conversation, it's like you went missing. Not a single sign from you, you do not even go out with your "friends" anymore. Looks like my prophecy was right, they were just using you. I cannot say that you've changed, because you still remain the same lying,pathetic fool. You still try tricking people into believing your innocence, while I'm getting my shovel to dig in deeper just to bury the castle. The castle of glass and lies you've created.
It's just like in my dreams where I can feel your ghost on the dancefloor, crying for more attention. I've never knew that I can do this, never knew that I would be able to cause so much pain upon someone and I cannot lie it feels amazing. Your sojourn in my heart was painful, but this, THIS makes it up for it. Now I am become "Death", destroyer of world, the destroyer of your world, of your dreams. It's like we've become each other. You've been my death for so long, now this is just a mere pay back. And trust me, this is only the beginning!

Eimear

First thing that comes on my mind is Eimear. She possess the most beautiful smile I've ever seen and her voice, well her voice is out of this world. Put in simple words she possesses the "six gifts of womanhood". I've seen her once or twice but it was enough to carve a memory that I will keep forever with hopes of talking to you once more. Not sure what I feel towards you, all I can say is lately you've crossed my mind one too many times, yet I do nothing about that. Maybe you don't remember me, in a while it will be a whole year since I met you and I remember that day just like it was yesterday.
I see how my crush and friend are getting closer and closer, yet it doesn't bother me, I do not even care because I met you Eimear. Wish I could talk with you in person, sadly I cannot... It's not that I do not want to, simply put I'm asocial. It's hard for me to start conversations or to keep one going.
My thoughts are like a carousel, going round and round and by the look of it I'm guessing my life is a broken dream going up and down spending another night alone staring at the TV wishing for your haunting presence.
Just don't forget to think about me and I won't forget you, but I haven't been this scared in a long time when I think about what could go wrong if I tell you what I feel.