Giggle in my memory

When I called you,
you just giggled,
I couldn't see the smile,
but I could somehow feel it.
Tried to face time you,
but our time was up.
No way I'll ever forget,
the moment when I saw you,
I was too scared to say it.
I love you.

I tried watching "City Lights" once but all I could think of through out the first five minutes of the film was about the time you used your flashlight cause the city lights were out

Fuck this city,
I won't stay in it,
these streets are so narrow,
as we're passing by them,
on Friday nights,
I can barely remember.

I swear I meant well,
when we yelled and we shouted,
our love was ignited,
I thought it went well.

So hurry once more,
don't want to be on my own,
oh no,
I don't want to be on my own.

What a summer,
endless bummer,
cause now I'm all alone.

I swear I meant well,
it didn't go well,
I swear I meant well,
I'm sorry for the living hell.

Will the white board still be white once the colour of the markers successfully blended in with the board (Are you still a "white board" once you get influenced by the people around you)

I sit around just wasting my days,
thinking about your selfish ways,
so I tried to write a poem about you,
but it keeps being about the person I once knew.
Innocent face,
you just walk with such grace,
yet you are a mess,
ruined in a slow pace.
Trust issues is all you have,
so you blame it on my behalf.

Journey,
through my,
shattered dreams of my love.
Journey,
through my,
past if that's what you want.

I hope you know that I loved you,
and till this day I swear it's true,
but I want you to move on,
cause of all the things I "haven't" done.

You know when someone asks you what you're thinking about and you don't want to answer but yet you do it in a poem(happens all the time)

Round we go,
around my thoughts,
of the nights,
we never spent together.

Founded emotions,
on paint and ink,
smudged by napkins,
forming a blurry portrait.

Through the eyes of enjoyment,
I try to figure this out,
but I would never be able to make up what you're going on about.

I can see your face in dry paint

The answers you gave,
the truth you didn't speak,
were the things I wanted to hear.

We still have our habits,
we still live our old lives,
hiding the things that shouldn't be seen.

What do we get if our feelings hide in secrecy,
what do we do when the things we love aren't real...

Somehow I love you,
I don't know why,
I need you.

With the energy I have left,
I reach for the remote,
trying to change the channel,
that you're always on.

As i turn the volume down,
you're getting louder,
as I turn off the TV,
you're the only one I can see.

The paintings on the wall,
they all resemble you,
I'd rather watch paint dry,
but there is no escaping you.

The most fun I've had,
it's been a while,
you're everywhere I turn,
haunting me with your smile.

I want this to last forever

The greatest smile I have ever seen,
the most gorgeous voice I'll ever hear,
with stunning eyes that turn me to stone,
I feel like a child when I'm around you.

The little time that we spend together,
I wish it would last forever.
Talk about nonsense,
yet laugh at everything.

We create memories,
with only our fingertips,
never mind the spoken words that cannot be heard,
we make promises based on what we've observed.

Apple of anguish

Emotions covering,
and I'm suffering,
and I can't stand this.
I'm calling your name,
late at night,
when I'm alone,
I put up the biggest fight.

You were a forbidden fruit,
even your name implyed it,
I loved you, I still do,
and I can't hide that.
You are the apple,
not because I regret it,
but because I can never have it.

I try to act as if I don't care,
but all I do is just think of you.
As the time waves off the opportunities,
I can only hope that one day,
maybe one day,
I'll be free of this suffering,
that one day,
our paths will collide,
one day,
maybe one day...

I need you

The longest summer break,
was the hardest one I had to face.
Met a lot of new people,
but I lost you.
No one can replace the space you freed up,
this is not what we agreed upon.
This trusting,
disgusts me,
I did what I said I would,
but you never tried to do what you could.
The words of love were unclear,
yet I believed you when you shed a tear.
I believed you when you cried,
and I still want to believe you even when you lie.
After everything you did,
I forgive you.
After everything you said,
I need you.

Another rant

The meaning of life is uncertain,
but mine I do know,
it is to be with you.
The days when you're gone are the hardest,
the nights when I'm alone are the darkest,
the bands that you showed me are the loudest,
but most importantly your actions are the meanest.
I try so hard to get you off of my mind,
but every method is unsuccessful.
You still haunt me,
you're a nightmare I don't want to end.
So this is what life without loves looks like,
nineteen years of being unwanted,
having but a few friends that still care,
one of which I thought you were.
I fell right into your trap,
I give up,
I can't go on,
I want this to end.
As I'm writing this I realise,
I'm saying the words you told me when we first met,
I'm saying the words you wanted to hear from someone else.

Characters slowly change

Hooked, I think is the word,
addicted, is what I am.
Your absence is slowly killing me,
I can't take it, not used to it,
never will be.
Your perfume, your smile, your kindness,
somethings never stay the same.
How I hoped,
and for the first time I even prayed.
You never came back.

Letter to a friend

To the friend who was there from the start,
you will forever be in my heart.
To the friend that made the pain stop,
I thank you.

For every word you said, a smile followed. Honestly I can't remember a time where you turned your back on me.
You are something else, you are my definition of a perfect human being, and although there were times when we didn't get along you still managed to put up with me.
As I grow older I realize what you mean to me, I may sound cliche and clingy but I love you.
I know that friends don't last forever but I hope that you are an exception!

Emotional bus ride

One month,
it's been one month since I last saw you.
I remember the denim jacket and converse shoes,
your long wavy brown hair and stunning smile too.
With a voice that still echoes,
you told me everything was alright.
Oh how I wanted to believe it,
I wished for it to be true.
The result was not surprising,
it wasn't,
you lied.

Truly alone

With a wish to feel happiness,
with a wish to see your face once again,
I feel as if I'm alone, put up against the world.

With memories of those high school days,
with memories of the sickening feeling called love,
I long for the day of the end.

Nothing I do or say,
nothing will stop this pain,
such a long and lonely road through the night.

Wasting everything I have,
wasting the time I once longed for,
now I know what it means to be truly alone.

Pale beauty

White as the cold snow,
pure and gentle is your touch,
you are a blessing.

Shamelessly destroying our fantasies

Hiding from the truth,
as if fear comes with it.
Not much can be done,
much less said in the present,
what we all want is not all that pleasant.
Cursing the sentences that debunk our lies,
we watch as another child's fantasy dies.

Hope for another shot at life

Shot after shot,
you miss your own heart.
Trying to end it all,

just because of one missed call.
Your life is worth so much more,

it's not worth giving up because of that stupid old bore.

Don't you know,

he is a man-whore,
he is not someone you should adore.
Open your eyes,
and look around,

you'll miss the fun,

and I'll miss your beauty.
When everything is done,

you'll be happy for what once had to come. 

Light that brings me home

With a warmth inside I'm heading home.
Shadows fall as I walk into the dark,
slowly losing the sight of my goals.
Alone, I have killed the sun,
now even the moon fears me.
No one by my side,
getting ready to give up,
I stopped,
opened my eyes,
I saw a light that was running towards me.
Soon a relaxing laugh followed,
in my mind it was hallowed.
The light shone brighter and brighter,
leading me to my personal heaven.
I couldn't believe my eyes,
who on earth would be so twisted,
who'd play such a cruel joke.
I rub my eyes in disbelief,
it was no joke,
the light was real.
With the first touch I realized,
you were the spark,
you were the light.

This month brings old pain

I need something to keep me warm through this winter,
your words froze making me feel like a goner.
This weather is the enemy,
slow and deadly in my fantasy,
your movement on the ice that cracks,
makes me wonder, about the chaos, that follows.
All these days do not pass,
my heart turned black, twas killed by your hand.
I need someone, someone that's not you.
I want to be loved again,
just not in the way you did,
not the love that you gave.
That was a curse and a mistake.
Your smile once had warmth,
now it's the reason for the darkness in this cold December.
Your laugh used to be your charm,
now its a source of harm.
Your beauty was a blessing,
now it's a woken nightmare.
You are the reason why this long cold winter hurts.

Your mistakes are my burden

  Caught myself thinking of the past, everything that I hoped to last. Everything I do is somehow connected with all of the things I've done for you. I gave up my free time just so  you can have what you wanted, just so you can have the attention you asked for.
  We slowly came closer, as time went by I missed you when you were away. You told me lies that I believed. Once again you managed to deceive.
I tried to leave you but I never could, I came back to you like I always do. I came back wanting you to for give me for the mistakes that you've done, I wanted forgiveness for something I didn't do.
And after all of our troubles, you decided to leave without saying a word. You left after you told me the truth. The truth about your feelings, deeds and plans. Was that the truth you wanted me to believe or was it the truth you believed in... I guess I will never know.
All that is left now are the three words I constantly repeat, all is left is to let you know that somehow, for whatever reason I miss you.

Light awakens feelings

The morning light pierced through my window,
waking me up from my dream,
in which I was holding your hand.
I never had the intention to get up,
but my phone delivered your messages.
It gave me a reason to open my eyes,
you gave me a reason to wash my face,
you showed me the beauty of the morning light.
Now I spend the nights,
waiting for the light to bring you closer,
not knowing that you'll always be as far as possible.
Emotionally we will never be close,
I love you as much as you hate my company.
You don't want to say it, but it's true,
you can't stand me at all!