Coffee shops and reviews of horrible video games are the only things I enjoy

I really don't know how to ask you out,
and sometimes I don't know what we should talk about,
but my silence doesn't mean I don't like you.

We could go on for days,
exchanging compliments,
spilling tea,
or argue about nonsense.
But I enjoyed every moment we spent together,
I love the days when we talk about whatever,
can I just keep this feeling in a jar?

Same people,
another problem.
New feelings,
jealousy is still thriving.
And after all, I wouldn't give this up for anything

So a secure network is used for trading, no wonder why I'm only going downhill

It happened again,
I know you like to pretend,
should we dismiss and move on,
try to wash it down and fly off.
At times like this,
I miss home.

You left me again,
you only cause pain,
should I turn away and shrug it off,
or do you still want me to hold on.
For the last time,
I'll carry on.

You told me again,
you tow shared a bed,
should you try and hide it,
acts can't be defied and,
in times like this,
I don't know.

(What's wrong?)
It happened again...
(Can't you carry on?)
It happened again...
Again and again...
(Just stay strong)
Again and again...
(Don't give in)
Again and again...

This month brings old pain

I need something to keep me warm through this winter,
your words froze making me feel like a goner.
This weather is the enemy,
slow and deadly in my fantasy,
your movement on the ice that cracks,
makes me wonder, about the chaos, that follows.
All these days do not pass,
my heart turned black, twas killed by your hand.
I need someone, someone that's not you.
I want to be loved again,
just not in the way you did,
not the love that you gave.
That was a curse and a mistake.
Your smile once had warmth,
now it's the reason for the darkness in this cold December.
Your laugh used to be your charm,
now its a source of harm.
Your beauty was a blessing,
now it's a woken nightmare.
You are the reason why this long cold winter hurts.

Staying warm during the cold season

  The fall is slowly coming to an end, although these feelings did not fade. Every year is like the one before, I jealously observe the actions of those that are around you. The weather makes me feel unpleasant, the smell of winter makes me worried, making me fear the season I love the most.
  As snow falls the feelings start to burn, keeping me warm and safe, making me push away the things I love. Pushing you away..
  How can one guy stop this fading, is it not possible to find the cure for all of this...
I'm tired of the same story every year, the same problems that I can't overcome. For once I want to feel something new, I want to see something that has not been seen, I want to be something I'm not.
  I want to be with you!

The story of a student

So you got everything off your chest,
thinking that I will regret my actions,
wanting me to face the sanctions.
You told me I was a know-it-all,
and you wanted me to believe your lies,
you built a wall of emotions,
slowly following my motions,
and proclaiming I'm a fraud,
maybe just maybe you are mad cause I'm better.
What I say is what I know,
What I don't know is what I learn,
you say what you think is right,
not checking facts,
you say it with all your might,
your mind is a paradox,
you said that we were similar,
but I rarely get offended when someones different.
We had the same goal,
but on your way you fell down a hole,
now you are broken with dreams shattered,
so you decided to be my master,
in every story the student becomes better,
you sold out,
so i made my life matter,
you taught me everything you knew,
but your words were wrong,
therefore I left your temple,
I went my own way,
and became something greater,
I surpassed your prodigy son,
and now,now you went on a hunt,
but this time the hunter is being hunted,
the battle of two mind has started,
but I am being hated and villainized for something I didn't do
while you are adored cause you do just that, nothing,
I cannot remember the last time I learned something,
but all you do is take credit for someone else's work
such selfishness and jealousy,
you sicken me!

What's up with you

We all have that one psycho in our life, too bad I was in love with that person for a really long time. At first you seemed normal, hell, I even thought that you are the greatest person I've ever met. It took me a while to figure you out, when I did I was surprised but that didn't prevent me from loving you. No, what killed my love were the stories you told. You became depressed so I thought that it was a good time to tell you how I feel, you took it for granted and thought that I didn't have other friends, you thought that I was you. You tried to use me, but failed miserably so you told me that I was full of myself. Soon after you met new people, you made friends, but you didn't know that they were our mutual friends so you started talking shit behind my back thinking that I will never find out.
I thought that it was time to give you a little update about my feelings towards you, and to be honest I wasn't worried about your reaction because I was fed up. I remember that you didn't like what I said because I told you that you've either changed or that I finally found out what kind of a person you are. To be honest I'm glad that we stopped talking, because you showed your true colours, you salute everyone I'm talking to and start conversations with them just to see my reactions, too bad you are only making me laugh.
Yesterday, you acknowledged my presence, you even greeted me and when I asked you if we were still talking you told me that we needed to sort things out, so today I texted you asking if there was really anything to talk about you gave me a negative answer. Such a pitty I was in the mood of telling you how much bullshit you are. Although I really shouldn't get too full of myself, because if it weren't for a friend of mine I'd never be able to realise how spineless I was. Yeah it's weird how her two-sentence statement did a lot more than you ever did.

You aren't that innocent

You used to make me feel like I could walk on water, I write about you all the time but I bet I don't run through your mind. You're the reason why I cannot sleep at night. I thought that I saw something in you, something worth fighting for, well actually I did I saw disaster masked as headstrongness, I saw jealous disguised as kindness.
Now there is nothing to fight for since you showed your true colors, you run around gossiping about me thinking that you know me. You think that I believed your lies and that I trusted you with my secrets, huh, you couldn't be more wrong. I had to twist my words to protect my self from your failure, I guess it's just a part of my nature to hide in my shell when someone wants to do harm.
Knowing that you lied to me you still made me think about you, I usually spend the nights kicking cans and digging into my pockets, thinking about my actions over and over. Thinking about why you didn't put a stop to this earlier, after all you knew that I had a crush on you. Huh, guess you really are in love with the attention you get. You love it until someone gets a firm grip of your act, once they figure out what you are doing you try to protect yourself by blaming everything on others. You think that you will be the "innocent" girl in their eyes forever.
All I have to say is that all of a sudden I stopped feeling so insecure and it's all thanks to your little act. All thanks to you, to your little game of wanting to be a grow up when you are still your daddy's little princess.
I cannot believe that it took me so long to understand that you are not worth all the trouble. It took me a goddamn long time to lay down my arms and give up the fight. But hey better late than never.

My story of a lonely guy

Every night you are out partying, while I'm locked in my room free willingly parting myself until I escape this oblivion yet you are the one changing and I'm the one who is destroyed.You are a strange inspiration, having a crush on you was no good but I cannot lie it helped me a lot,although it made me wonder about life, about how I should live it, how I should value it...Not sure if its worth explaining but you brought sunshine on this spotless mind, I was crazy about you, I was as happy as a child who just got a candy bar from the candy shop every time you were around me.
Years went by you know how time flies I began to despise your narcissism,selfishness and greed that only left lies in my memories, a broken heart hurts more than a broken spirit but somehow you managed to break them both.
From time to time I wonder what's so special about you? I thought I loved you for your personality but now I realised it was beauty that got to me... I failed myself, how on earth did you do this to me? It took me so long to realise something so simple yet devastating, I was even ready to give up sleep just to spend time with you.
Never knew how easy it was to fail oneself especially when you try so hard not to. Why is love like this? Now all I do is listening to saggy indie/pop punk love songs sent by a friend who shall not be named for she is my true saviour. I find it funny how someone who never saw me physically knows me better than someone who I try to tell everything.
There are even days when I think to myself if I'm mad or just overjoyed not knowing that I was just a toy in a world where people like me have little to no chance of being loved just because we are different, just because we are not ashamed to tell what we feel should be changed or just because our openness towards subjects that most people gain power from. Everyone looks at me differently, they pity me I can feel it, most people talk to me because they are sorry for me because I never learned how to fall in line or how to become another casualty of society not knowing that I'm willingy doing that. They laugh at my way of life, I laugh at their fear of death, they make fun of my dumb actions but once those dumb actions succeed, everyone even your beloved ones try to stop you.
I do not know how they can find justice in love, but I know one thing's for sure. Love isn't my thing I will never be loved nor will I love that's not a promise it's my future.
But in this short and haunting life I've came to a conclusion, nothing is pointless not even a crush that lasted for four years straight. I've learned a lot because of it. You made me the bastard I am today and I would like to remain like this. You've opened my eyes in a weird way, you made me dislike you and your points of view.We knew each other so well yet I hardly knew you. You consciously stabbed knives thinking that I did not see it coming, but I am just a patient man and you know what they say "Patience will be their undoing", trust me they were right.
You called me a betrayer, in truth it was I who was betrayed. Still, I'm hunted. Still, I'm hated. Now my blind eyes see what others cannot, that the hand of fate sometimes must be forced. It was my mistake for never doing so, I gave up without a try, without having a swing. I lost my chance just to be changed. I lost love just to be stronger. Now the only thing that's left for me is to march forward and tell the story of a lonely guy who never found love but found himself. The story of a lonely guy who in the end was not so lonely because of his few but amazing friends who helped him see the world which is not so pink. Friends who warned him about love and The Girl he loved. And even being alone he is never lonely, he has himself. Such a rebel he is, never giving up his hopes and dreams, going against the world just to fulfill his destiny. A guy who cares not if everyone is against him as long as he has someone he can rely on...
Now imagine that guy alone, he would be like a wounded bear, he'd be driven insane not that he isn't right now.
And now there is but one question I want to be answered. Is it all his fault?