I still go to malls in hopes of reliving that moment when we went to one together

In the middle of the night,
let me wake up,
think about you.

Get a call,
as you left from work,
let me hear your voice,
that calming noise.

Late at night, try to get the feeling right,
warm laughs hiding the neck bites,
turn on the lights, let me admire your face and your smile,
make this place feel like it's the only place where I need to be,
for a while.

Remember those three days we spent,
pleasantly sure there's no regret,
I can feel that.
Make sure you hold on to this memory, without the regrets,
but make sure you won't miss the time of the day,
where you have your phone in your hand,
cause pictures are all we have now.
Some how,
pictures are all we have now.

Late night, try to get the feeling right,
warm laughs hiding the neck bites,
turn on the lights, let me admire your face (and your beautiful smile),
make this place feel like the place where I need to be,
forever.

The art of getting by, is not even art

One week left to live,
four months of which I'll never speak.

People come and enter,
but your make up will always stay on my shirts.
The truth won't matter as long as you smile,
history will repeat,
once more,
we will meet.

Now with space between us,
I had it all.
Now I act with such demeanor,
I had it all.

Soaking wet,
from the tears of the clouds,
yearning our goodbye.
Loved be those poor geese and ducks,
fighting the cold as we hide under our sheets.

No matter the space between us,
I still have you.

With hopes of seeing a rainbow,
fighting over unicorns,
nothing ever happens,
patience,
sleep half of the day,
it's called patience.
Looking so peaceful,
hearing my whisper,
yelling out of fear,
you got up.

Thought you never listened,
thought you never listened,
I thought.
Did you hear,
you're really all I need.

Now with space between us,
I had it all.
No matter the space between us,
I still have you.

One night I'll never forget,
one handed torture devices that make us laugh.
One handed laughing methods leave us bruised through the days,
yet love will spark,
it'll always spark.

As the geese come out of hiding,
we leave our comfort,
entering waters we thought we'd never swim,
drying our thoughts just so we can go back home.

Spent the broken days outspoken,
money sorted, farewell my old friend.
Enter a new chapter,
same spotlight, you became more.

Now with space between us,
I realize,
I love you more than I should.

Taking a trip in your seatless, restless car (or was I headless and could not find the headrest)

Like mirror to mirror,
we meet,
face to face,
all this talking,
such a disgrace.

Long lasting,
our late night texting.
Long lasting,
our love is in testing.

Being sober for so long,
it is killing me.
Going out to the beach,
is this life in death?
You are one cute thing,
you are something I need,
something I need,
I need something,
something soon.

I'm always filling the blanks,
trying to think of the wisdom,
from those famous prophets,
those who were destroyed by the power,
power of the hippies.
Times to die,
times to be a cosmic hero.
Time does fly,
it flies so high,
high to death.

Is this all a dream or did we actually get married in a virtual chat room game thing?

Let's conjoin our bodies,
become one and the same,
one hug,
lasting forever.

Let's listen to one song on repeat,
rest your head on the car seat,
make sure that it's not 1994,
even thought we are in different cities.

Rush me to the hospital,
take me to the ER,
save me from the waste of a human I'm becoming.

Giving me the love I threw away,
giving me everything I've lost,
I am grateful.

Should we listen to our bands?

When you’re suffering the most,
and when you’re lost again,
let me be your GPS,
like I once was.

When you want to cry,
and when you feel like you can’t go on,
we can go to the park,
and sing our favourite songs.

And once you get back on your feet,
feel free to forget me,
even though I’ll still be here,
for when this starts all over again.

Couldn't think of a name earlier when you were sitting next to me so I'll just leave it like this and call it "Nameless" or even less than that

It's been a minute,
since you last said goodbye,
I just really hope,
that you'll never ever cry.
I know you're wrong,
yet I'll never tell you why,
trust me when I say,
I would much rather die.

Hold on,
let me breath for a moment,
you say life's too short,
but I really don't feel that,
nights don't pass,
my head is such a mess.
For the love of...
let me get some rest!

You know when someone asks you what you're thinking about and you don't want to answer but yet you do it in a poem(happens all the time)

Round we go,
around my thoughts,
of the nights,
we never spent together.

Founded emotions,
on paint and ink,
smudged by napkins,
forming a blurry portrait.

Through the eyes of enjoyment,
I try to figure this out,
but I would never be able to make up what you're going on about.

I can see your face in dry paint

The answers you gave,
the truth you didn't speak,
were the things I wanted to hear.

We still have our habits,
we still live our old lives,
hiding the things that shouldn't be seen.

What do we get if our feelings hide in secrecy,
what do we do when the things we love aren't real...

Somehow I love you,
I don't know why,
I need you.

With the energy I have left,
I reach for the remote,
trying to change the channel,
that you're always on.

As i turn the volume down,
you're getting louder,
as I turn off the TV,
you're the only one I can see.

The paintings on the wall,
they all resemble you,
I'd rather watch paint dry,
but there is no escaping you.

The most fun I've had,
it's been a while,
you're everywhere I turn,
haunting me with your smile.

I want this to last forever

The greatest smile I have ever seen,
the most gorgeous voice I'll ever hear,
with stunning eyes that turn me to stone,
I feel like a child when I'm around you.

The little time that we spend together,
I wish it would last forever.
Talk about nonsense,
yet laugh at everything.

We create memories,
with only our fingertips,
never mind the spoken words that cannot be heard,
we make promises based on what we've observed.

The girl I loved so well

With my memory,
of you holding me,
and with everything,
that I wanted to be.

I'll remember the day you stood near,
with your smile and hugs,
all my dreams were done.

With my fantasy,
of you being by me,
I fall asleep,
in this misery.

I'll remember the day you left me,
with tears in our eyes,
everything that I loved was gone.

With my sanity,
I turn a new leaf,
but you're still in it,
and that's all I need.

I'll meet you again to make new memories,
with your hugs and love,
I'll have all that I need.

For when I'll finally sleep,
you will be with me,
holding you dear,
now it is clear,
you're all that I need,
to feel fulfilled

I need you

The longest summer break,
was the hardest one I had to face.
Met a lot of new people,
but I lost you.
No one can replace the space you freed up,
this is not what we agreed upon.
This trusting,
disgusts me,
I did what I said I would,
but you never tried to do what you could.
The words of love were unclear,
yet I believed you when you shed a tear.
I believed you when you cried,
and I still want to believe you even when you lie.
After everything you did,
I forgive you.
After everything you said,
I need you.

Another rant

The meaning of life is uncertain,
but mine I do know,
it is to be with you.
The days when you're gone are the hardest,
the nights when I'm alone are the darkest,
the bands that you showed me are the loudest,
but most importantly your actions are the meanest.
I try so hard to get you off of my mind,
but every method is unsuccessful.
You still haunt me,
you're a nightmare I don't want to end.
So this is what life without loves looks like,
nineteen years of being unwanted,
having but a few friends that still care,
one of which I thought you were.
I fell right into your trap,
I give up,
I can't go on,
I want this to end.
As I'm writing this I realise,
I'm saying the words you told me when we first met,
I'm saying the words you wanted to hear from someone else.

Characters slowly change

Hooked, I think is the word,
addicted, is what I am.
Your absence is slowly killing me,
I can't take it, not used to it,
never will be.
Your perfume, your smile, your kindness,
somethings never stay the same.
How I hoped,
and for the first time I even prayed.
You never came back.

For you I will do my best

Slowly you disappear into the past,
yet you are buried in my thoughts which I'm forcing to last.
Everything that you do,
finds a way to touch my heart,
and every word you say,
shows the beauty of your art.
Your bleached white hair,
perfect smile,
cute little nose,
an honest representation of your soul.
You say you want to give up,
but you don't have to go.
You're not alone, nor will you ever be,
you fought hard, now you got me.
Your bleached white hair,
perfect smile,
cute little nose,
please stay for a while.
You fought hard, now you got me,
you're not alone, nor will you ever be.

Becoming a ghost

There's this song I always come back to,
It reminds me of the day I first met you.
No other words mean as much to me as the lyrics that were sang in the song,
it's a constant reminder of how we held on for so long.
You might've been just a ghost but you knew what flesh felt like,
you knew what a hug meant and how to treat someone in the cold night.
You were no stranger to love and comfort,
you were the definition of kindness,
you managed to treat me from my social blindness.
You allowed me to open up to you,
share my story and my pain.
From that point on I knew what you meant,
I knew what you wanted,
but I never provided.
Now I'm the ghost you once spoke of,
hiding behind the comfort of my keyboard,
playing the role of a person you once knew.

Emotional bus ride

One month,
it's been one month since I last saw you.
I remember the denim jacket and converse shoes,
your long wavy brown hair and stunning smile too.
With a voice that still echoes,
you told me everything was alright.
Oh how I wanted to believe it,
I wished for it to be true.
The result was not surprising,
it wasn't,
you lied.

The last farewell this winter brought

And just like that, you're gone,
The memories fade away, you're lost,
No matter the action , the consequences are the same.
The thought of you not being here,
The thought of missing you,
Those are concepts I can't wrap around my head.
With fear I live the upcoming days,
Questioning my own existence,
Questioning my own rebellion, I slowly understand what you meant.
Honestly I miss you,
Nothing I do can bring you back,
But I'm thankful for giving me the chances I once had.

Truly alone

With a wish to feel happiness,
with a wish to see your face once again,
I feel as if I'm alone, put up against the world.

With memories of those high school days,
with memories of the sickening feeling called love,
I long for the day of the end.

Nothing I do or say,
nothing will stop this pain,
such a long and lonely road through the night.

Wasting everything I have,
wasting the time I once longed for,
now I know what it means to be truly alone.

Pale beauty

White as the cold snow,
pure and gentle is your touch,
you are a blessing.

Hope for another shot at life

Shot after shot,
you miss your own heart.
Trying to end it all,

just because of one missed call.
Your life is worth so much more,

it's not worth giving up because of that stupid old bore.

Don't you know,

he is a man-whore,
he is not someone you should adore.
Open your eyes,
and look around,

you'll miss the fun,

and I'll miss your beauty.
When everything is done,

you'll be happy for what once had to come.