I thought about you

    It's been a while since the last time you ran through my mind and I have to say nothing is the same, your presence changed everything, it kept me sane. It's impossible to forget you no matter how hard I try. 
      When I think of you I have this picture of a blade of ice, lonely road, clear day, always sharp and cold, always beautiful. I am such a fool, why can't I simply give up? I know that we will never talk again but I cannot stop thinking about you. I hate you for saying that you'd always be by my side! I hate you for the kind acts you did. I hate you for helping me, for picking me up when I needed someone the most! I hate you because you cared about me... Why were you so nice? Why did you show me how it felt to be loved? You changed me completely! I hate the fact that I cannot hate you.
     No matter what you do just know that you will always have a place in my heart although I know that you wouldn't care and I do not blame you. I'm not worth of your time, and I know that we weren't so similar to begin with but I cannot stop feeling like the universe has left me without a place to go, leaving me somewhere between light and darkness, making me a spectator of your movement. I once had the power to guide you just as you guided my path, now I'm nothing more than a grain of sand. I am scared of the dark, yet I cannot step into the light because of you.
Society says that boys don't cry but I cannot prevent myself from doing so when I'm thinking about you.
 Until we meet again, slan...

What's up with you

We all have that one psycho in our life, too bad I was in love with that person for a really long time. At first you seemed normal, hell, I even thought that you are the greatest person I've ever met. It took me a while to figure you out, when I did I was surprised but that didn't prevent me from loving you. No, what killed my love were the stories you told. You became depressed so I thought that it was a good time to tell you how I feel, you took it for granted and thought that I didn't have other friends, you thought that I was you. You tried to use me, but failed miserably so you told me that I was full of myself. Soon after you met new people, you made friends, but you didn't know that they were our mutual friends so you started talking shit behind my back thinking that I will never find out.
I thought that it was time to give you a little update about my feelings towards you, and to be honest I wasn't worried about your reaction because I was fed up. I remember that you didn't like what I said because I told you that you've either changed or that I finally found out what kind of a person you are. To be honest I'm glad that we stopped talking, because you showed your true colours, you salute everyone I'm talking to and start conversations with them just to see my reactions, too bad you are only making me laugh.
Yesterday, you acknowledged my presence, you even greeted me and when I asked you if we were still talking you told me that we needed to sort things out, so today I texted you asking if there was really anything to talk about you gave me a negative answer. Such a pitty I was in the mood of telling you how much bullshit you are. Although I really shouldn't get too full of myself, because if it weren't for a friend of mine I'd never be able to realise how spineless I was. Yeah it's weird how her two-sentence statement did a lot more than you ever did.

Letter 2: Aibh

We've known each other for a long time, we had our rivalry but became friends after a while. We spent so many nights talking, debating, laughing. I soon developed a crush which you noticed but you acted like you didn't know just because you liked the attention I was giving you.
I have to say, we both changed a lot since our first conversation. For the better or worse, I do not know but what I know is that we aren't those same brats talking about stupid topics. I looked up our chat history a while ago, it was an eye opening experience for me. I saw how you used me, but it helped me recognize the lies told by others.
Sometimes I wish that I've never met you, however for what it was worth it was worth all the while.
It's a good thing that not everything goes as planned. Imagine what a boring place it would be then, nothing to take you by surprise, nothing to keep your adrenaline rushing. I cannot imagine my self living in such world, but I know you'd love to because you always hated changes of a plan.
I hate how I had to tell thousands of lies just to make sure you are happy. Trust me that will never happen again, I will never again tell a lie just so you can feel better!

Letter 1: Ar

I never thought that it will come to this, me writing a letter just to express how I'm feeling. I'm just wondering what went wrong since you aren't saying a word. It's been a year since we met, sicne we chose OUR favorite song, OUR favorite movie. I guess this world is cursed and plagued without a possible escape route. I'm just wondering what I did to piss you off...
Now I am so sick of those crappy love songs on the radio. I'm sick of them because we used to listen to them together, we used to sing along, we used to have fun. What did become of our friendship? We became strangers in a matter of seconds. You were not the first person to go, but you hurt the most...
I remember our long conversations, I even remember the silence and how it was broken with your cute laughter. You were everything I wished for, a friend that knows how I feel without having to explain anything, but suddenly you turned into a landslide while I was resembling the city beneath you.
Huh, all those conversations about being here for each other... Guess I should've never believed words, I should've known that talk is cheap.
Well I do not know about you but I am afraid of being alone, I'm afraid of leaving tonight. I think I'm lost without you. I know that this is useless because I am young and stupid, remaining wide and open while my heart is wasted. I know this because every time I try to look for you the sun goes down, leaving a void in my day. Void filled with darkness, aggression and depression.
Hell, I even miss you like the summer.