The art of getting by, is not even art

One week left to live,
four months of which I'll never speak.

People come and enter,
but your make up will always stay on my shirts.
The truth won't matter as long as you smile,
history will repeat,
once more,
we will meet.

Now with space between us,
I had it all.
Now I act with such demeanor,
I had it all.

Soaking wet,
from the tears of the clouds,
yearning our goodbye.
Loved be those poor geese and ducks,
fighting the cold as we hide under our sheets.

No matter the space between us,
I still have you.

With hopes of seeing a rainbow,
fighting over unicorns,
nothing ever happens,
patience,
sleep half of the day,
it's called patience.
Looking so peaceful,
hearing my whisper,
yelling out of fear,
you got up.

Thought you never listened,
thought you never listened,
I thought.
Did you hear,
you're really all I need.

Now with space between us,
I had it all.
No matter the space between us,
I still have you.

One night I'll never forget,
one handed torture devices that make us laugh.
One handed laughing methods leave us bruised through the days,
yet love will spark,
it'll always spark.

As the geese come out of hiding,
we leave our comfort,
entering waters we thought we'd never swim,
drying our thoughts just so we can go back home.

Spent the broken days outspoken,
money sorted, farewell my old friend.
Enter a new chapter,
same spotlight, you became more.

Now with space between us,
I realize,
I love you more than I should.

It took me years to figure out that you aren't supposed to open up "spam" messages on your email, I honestly thought I was talking to a prince from Africa (Maybe that's why you don't reply to my messages)

Northern style of an Eastern smile,
a five foot neat pile with an artistic style,
gorgeous human,
friendship trial,
twice it expired,
but my love was hard-wired.

Four years prior,
thoughts in denial,
you changed my music style,
it used to be vile.

Now that you're gone,
moved to Japan,
I realized what you meant,
I realized what you meant.

II

All the solutions,
they seem like they are farfetched,
Don't mess with my head.

You know when someone asks you what you're thinking about and you don't want to answer but yet you do it in a poem(happens all the time)

Round we go,
around my thoughts,
of the nights,
we never spent together.

Founded emotions,
on paint and ink,
smudged by napkins,
forming a blurry portrait.

Through the eyes of enjoyment,
I try to figure this out,
but I would never be able to make up what you're going on about.

I can see your face in dry paint

The answers you gave,
the truth you didn't speak,
were the things I wanted to hear.

We still have our habits,
we still live our old lives,
hiding the things that shouldn't be seen.

What do we get if our feelings hide in secrecy,
what do we do when the things we love aren't real...

Somehow I love you,
I don't know why,
I need you.

With the energy I have left,
I reach for the remote,
trying to change the channel,
that you're always on.

As i turn the volume down,
you're getting louder,
as I turn off the TV,
you're the only one I can see.

The paintings on the wall,
they all resemble you,
I'd rather watch paint dry,
but there is no escaping you.

The most fun I've had,
it's been a while,
you're everywhere I turn,
haunting me with your smile.

Please hurry

Hurry I am afraid,
I don't want to be alone,
I don't want to suffer.

Hurry come and save me once more,
be the place I can call home,
I don't want to die alone.

Hurry I cannot breath,
everything that I can see is unfamiliar to me,
I don't know what I know,
but I'm almost certain,
I don't want to be alone.

You're the only person I trust,
I long for someone to save me,
how I need someone to save me.
Hurry be that someone,
hurry I'm shaking,
I don't want to die alone.

Hurry now, make the loneliness disappear,
I can't stand not having you around,
without you I'll forever be alone.
So hurry,
please,
hurry.

Battlefield of love

Emotional fortress built with broken stones,
Battle ram rushing a chill down my bones. 
Forecast rain and mist, 
Cutting down my sight, 
Loud cries followed by their echoes,
On this battlefield of love.
Throwing spears and arrows, 
Shaped as yelled sentences,
Directed at my heart,
Even the quiet whispers are able to do their part.

As the gates came crushing, 
You just stood still. 
Saw what was inside,
Witnessed the terror within,
Giving up the fight,
Ending it with one touch. 
Our shields were thrown away,
Your ships were waiting at bay,
As tears fall on your face, 
I stand broken.

This short war, 
Lasted an eternity,
Although no casualties, 
We mourn as if it were millions. 
Love is gone, 
Yet death is missing.
It is over,
Yet we are both hurting. 
Saying we are happy during our breakdowns, 
I try to hide it, 
But I will always love you 

Emotional bus ride

One month,
it's been one month since I last saw you.
I remember the denim jacket and converse shoes,
your long wavy brown hair and stunning smile too.
With a voice that still echoes,
you told me everything was alright.
Oh how I wanted to believe it,
I wished for it to be true.
The result was not surprising,
it wasn't,
you lied.

Truly alone

With a wish to feel happiness,
with a wish to see your face once again,
I feel as if I'm alone, put up against the world.

With memories of those high school days,
with memories of the sickening feeling called love,
I long for the day of the end.

Nothing I do or say,
nothing will stop this pain,
such a long and lonely road through the night.

Wasting everything I have,
wasting the time I once longed for,
now I know what it means to be truly alone.

Pale beauty

White as the cold snow,
pure and gentle is your touch,
you are a blessing.

Absence

Torn pages,
words unspoken.
Thoughts undeveloped,
feelings being neglected.
I've turned into a creature I can't understand.
I've turned into something I cannot stand.

Light that brings me home

With a warmth inside I'm heading home.
Shadows fall as I walk into the dark,
slowly losing the sight of my goals.
Alone, I have killed the sun,
now even the moon fears me.
No one by my side,
getting ready to give up,
I stopped,
opened my eyes,
I saw a light that was running towards me.
Soon a relaxing laugh followed,
in my mind it was hallowed.
The light shone brighter and brighter,
leading me to my personal heaven.
I couldn't believe my eyes,
who on earth would be so twisted,
who'd play such a cruel joke.
I rub my eyes in disbelief,
it was no joke,
the light was real.
With the first touch I realized,
you were the spark,
you were the light.

This month brings old pain

I need something to keep me warm through this winter,
your words froze making me feel like a goner.
This weather is the enemy,
slow and deadly in my fantasy,
your movement on the ice that cracks,
makes me wonder, about the chaos, that follows.
All these days do not pass,
my heart turned black, twas killed by your hand.
I need someone, someone that's not you.
I want to be loved again,
just not in the way you did,
not the love that you gave.
That was a curse and a mistake.
Your smile once had warmth,
now it's the reason for the darkness in this cold December.
Your laugh used to be your charm,
now its a source of harm.
Your beauty was a blessing,
now it's a woken nightmare.
You are the reason why this long cold winter hurts.

Your mistakes are my burden

  Caught myself thinking of the past, everything that I hoped to last. Everything I do is somehow connected with all of the things I've done for you. I gave up my free time just so  you can have what you wanted, just so you can have the attention you asked for.
  We slowly came closer, as time went by I missed you when you were away. You told me lies that I believed. Once again you managed to deceive.
I tried to leave you but I never could, I came back to you like I always do. I came back wanting you to for give me for the mistakes that you've done, I wanted forgiveness for something I didn't do.
And after all of our troubles, you decided to leave without saying a word. You left after you told me the truth. The truth about your feelings, deeds and plans. Was that the truth you wanted me to believe or was it the truth you believed in... I guess I will never know.
All that is left now are the three words I constantly repeat, all is left is to let you know that somehow, for whatever reason I miss you.

Comfort

I had no interest in change,
found my comfort zone,
I wanted to stay there.
I had no interest in change,
none what so ever,
zero,
But then I met you,
I saw your innocent smile,
felt the warmness of your hugs,
the smell of your hair,
and bliss from your eyes.
I turned a new page,
in a new untouched book,
a book pure of emotions.