Even the mirrors lie (You do look different in person, although it could be cause I don't have my glasses)/I'm being honest trust me.

To lose everything is impossible,
but losing you was the closest thing to it,
as my habits slowly started to change,
so did you.

In the winter you said goodbye,
making a blizzard.
You wished me good luck,
I just stood frozen.
So in the summer I tried running away from the continent,
went oh so far away,
hoping to never see you again.
Although you're not here,
you're still with me,
I'm just wondering if you ever miss me.

I hope that one day we will start acting like grown ups,
no more hiding, lets break our walnut shells.
Let's just live our lives,
the way we wanted.
Let's just live our lives,
that's all I'm asking for.

You are more than my schizophrenia

Closed off,
with brighter days,
I waste myself,
with no bucks left.

Cold times,
colder waves,
i save myself,
yet nothing's saved.

Just washed away,
that's all I am,
nothing I ever said mattered,
to you,
and to me,
cause that's how we used to be,
one person,
yet two.
We were the same.
and still so different.

Cold times,
colder waves,
you run away,
yet stuck in the same place.

Just washed up,
that's all you are,
tired from,
your old guitar.
Just help me,
and I'll be pleased,
please make me feel,
like I'm at ease.
One person,
yet we're two.

Worn lies,
that hide your face,
just slow down your pace,
you're still in first place.

Is this real,
or am I high,
would you be,
oh so kind,
and be just mine.

Unhappy,
with no hope,
I save myself,
and nothing's saved.

Lost, broken and drunk,
lost, broken and drunk.

I tried watching "City Lights" once but all I could think of through out the first five minutes of the film was about the time you used your flashlight cause the city lights were out

Fuck this city,
I won't stay in it,
these streets are so narrow,
as we're passing by them,
on Friday nights,
I can barely remember.

I swear I meant well,
when we yelled and we shouted,
our love was ignited,
I thought it went well.

So hurry once more,
don't want to be on my own,
oh no,
I don't want to be on my own.

What a summer,
endless bummer,
cause now I'm all alone.

I swear I meant well,
it didn't go well,
I swear I meant well,
I'm sorry for the living hell.

Will the white board still be white once the colour of the markers successfully blended in with the board (Are you still a "white board" once you get influenced by the people around you)

I sit around just wasting my days,
thinking about your selfish ways,
so I tried to write a poem about you,
but it keeps being about the person I once knew.
Innocent face,
you just walk with such grace,
yet you are a mess,
ruined in a slow pace.
Trust issues is all you have,
so you blame it on my behalf.

Journey,
through my,
shattered dreams of my love.
Journey,
through my,
past if that's what you want.

I hope you know that I loved you,
and till this day I swear it's true,
but I want you to move on,
cause of all the things I "haven't" done.

I can see your face in dry paint

The answers you gave,
the truth you didn't speak,
were the things I wanted to hear.

We still have our habits,
we still live our old lives,
hiding the things that shouldn't be seen.

What do we get if our feelings hide in secrecy,
what do we do when the things we love aren't real...

Somehow I love you,
I don't know why,
I need you.

With the energy I have left,
I reach for the remote,
trying to change the channel,
that you're always on.

As i turn the volume down,
you're getting louder,
as I turn off the TV,
you're the only one I can see.

The paintings on the wall,
they all resemble you,
I'd rather watch paint dry,
but there is no escaping you.

The most fun I've had,
it's been a while,
you're everywhere I turn,
haunting me with your smile.

The girl I loved so well

With my memory,
of you holding me,
and with everything,
that I wanted to be.

I'll remember the day you stood near,
with your smile and hugs,
all my dreams were done.

With my fantasy,
of you being by me,
I fall asleep,
in this misery.

I'll remember the day you left me,
with tears in our eyes,
everything that I loved was gone.

With my sanity,
I turn a new leaf,
but you're still in it,
and that's all I need.

I'll meet you again to make new memories,
with your hugs and love,
I'll have all that I need.

For when I'll finally sleep,
you will be with me,
holding you dear,
now it is clear,
you're all that I need,
to feel fulfilled

Please hurry

Hurry I am afraid,
I don't want to be alone,
I don't want to suffer.

Hurry come and save me once more,
be the place I can call home,
I don't want to die alone.

Hurry I cannot breath,
everything that I can see is unfamiliar to me,
I don't know what I know,
but I'm almost certain,
I don't want to be alone.

You're the only person I trust,
I long for someone to save me,
how I need someone to save me.
Hurry be that someone,
hurry I'm shaking,
I don't want to die alone.

Hurry now, make the loneliness disappear,
I can't stand not having you around,
without you I'll forever be alone.
So hurry,
please,
hurry.

Apple of anguish

Emotions covering,
and I'm suffering,
and I can't stand this.
I'm calling your name,
late at night,
when I'm alone,
I put up the biggest fight.

You were a forbidden fruit,
even your name implyed it,
I loved you, I still do,
and I can't hide that.
You are the apple,
not because I regret it,
but because I can never have it.

I try to act as if I don't care,
but all I do is just think of you.
As the time waves off the opportunities,
I can only hope that one day,
maybe one day,
I'll be free of this suffering,
that one day,
our paths will collide,
one day,
maybe one day...

Battlefield of love

Emotional fortress built with broken stones,
Battle ram rushing a chill down my bones. 
Forecast rain and mist, 
Cutting down my sight, 
Loud cries followed by their echoes,
On this battlefield of love.
Throwing spears and arrows, 
Shaped as yelled sentences,
Directed at my heart,
Even the quiet whispers are able to do their part.

As the gates came crushing, 
You just stood still. 
Saw what was inside,
Witnessed the terror within,
Giving up the fight,
Ending it with one touch. 
Our shields were thrown away,
Your ships were waiting at bay,
As tears fall on your face, 
I stand broken.

This short war, 
Lasted an eternity,
Although no casualties, 
We mourn as if it were millions. 
Love is gone, 
Yet death is missing.
It is over,
Yet we are both hurting. 
Saying we are happy during our breakdowns, 
I try to hide it, 
But I will always love you 

I need you

The longest summer break,
was the hardest one I had to face.
Met a lot of new people,
but I lost you.
No one can replace the space you freed up,
this is not what we agreed upon.
This trusting,
disgusts me,
I did what I said I would,
but you never tried to do what you could.
The words of love were unclear,
yet I believed you when you shed a tear.
I believed you when you cried,
and I still want to believe you even when you lie.
After everything you did,
I forgive you.
After everything you said,
I need you.

Another rant

The meaning of life is uncertain,
but mine I do know,
it is to be with you.
The days when you're gone are the hardest,
the nights when I'm alone are the darkest,
the bands that you showed me are the loudest,
but most importantly your actions are the meanest.
I try so hard to get you off of my mind,
but every method is unsuccessful.
You still haunt me,
you're a nightmare I don't want to end.
So this is what life without loves looks like,
nineteen years of being unwanted,
having but a few friends that still care,
one of which I thought you were.
I fell right into your trap,
I give up,
I can't go on,
I want this to end.
As I'm writing this I realise,
I'm saying the words you told me when we first met,
I'm saying the words you wanted to hear from someone else.

Characters slowly change

Hooked, I think is the word,
addicted, is what I am.
Your absence is slowly killing me,
I can't take it, not used to it,
never will be.
Your perfume, your smile, your kindness,
somethings never stay the same.
How I hoped,
and for the first time I even prayed.
You never came back.

For you I will do my best

Slowly you disappear into the past,
yet you are buried in my thoughts which I'm forcing to last.
Everything that you do,
finds a way to touch my heart,
and every word you say,
shows the beauty of your art.
Your bleached white hair,
perfect smile,
cute little nose,
an honest representation of your soul.
You say you want to give up,
but you don't have to go.
You're not alone, nor will you ever be,
you fought hard, now you got me.
Your bleached white hair,
perfect smile,
cute little nose,
please stay for a while.
You fought hard, now you got me,
you're not alone, nor will you ever be.

The sadness behind the sweet melody

The way you express yourself,
through suicidal songs,
brings a tear to my eye,
and tores out my heart.
You speak as you are ready to go,
wanting to leave us behind,
with our memories of your sadness and fake smiles.
The pain you've experienced,
it is like no other,
and you should know that you'll never be a bother.
Every time I try to help,
every time I try to be there,
I end up hurting you.
Can't even take your mind off of your troubles,
somehow I always manage to pop your safe bubble.
Instead of helping I ask you questions,
making you think of life and it's darkness,
I ask questions I should have never mentioned.
No help ever came from me,
slowly I caused more pain and harm than I ever prevented.

  Unaware I push you to your limits, not knowing that you are near the end. As I continue doing so you pretend as if everything is fine, trying to prove me wrong hoping I won't see through your white lies, but I suffer as much as you do therefore I know what you are going through, or at least I think I do. My selfishness doesn't let me help you, nor will I ever be able to. I always apologize but then I go back doing what I already did, harming you over and over.

Time after time your songs send a chill down my bones,
once again you're hurt,
once more I caused it.
The suicidal thoughts never leave your head,
leaving you wondering about your deathbed,
wanting all of this to end.
You've never killed anyone, that's what you said,
but you are slowly taking your life away,
turning yourself into clay,
slowly breaking.
What beauty, you are breathtaking.

The method of your lies

I counted the bodies, Lifeless and cold, I counted the heads, That you left confused. I saw through your lies, A method you always use, But this time you are wrong, And I'll see you fall apart. As the the world evolves, You think it revolves around you, But this time you are wrong, As you don't speak the truth. How can you say that you love, When you love only yourself, Now that you're all alone, You'll be left unknown. You believe in your lies, A method you always use, But this time you are wrong, And those who loved you are gone!

What's up with you

We all have that one psycho in our life, too bad I was in love with that person for a really long time. At first you seemed normal, hell, I even thought that you are the greatest person I've ever met. It took me a while to figure you out, when I did I was surprised but that didn't prevent me from loving you. No, what killed my love were the stories you told. You became depressed so I thought that it was a good time to tell you how I feel, you took it for granted and thought that I didn't have other friends, you thought that I was you. You tried to use me, but failed miserably so you told me that I was full of myself. Soon after you met new people, you made friends, but you didn't know that they were our mutual friends so you started talking shit behind my back thinking that I will never find out.
I thought that it was time to give you a little update about my feelings towards you, and to be honest I wasn't worried about your reaction because I was fed up. I remember that you didn't like what I said because I told you that you've either changed or that I finally found out what kind of a person you are. To be honest I'm glad that we stopped talking, because you showed your true colours, you salute everyone I'm talking to and start conversations with them just to see my reactions, too bad you are only making me laugh.
Yesterday, you acknowledged my presence, you even greeted me and when I asked you if we were still talking you told me that we needed to sort things out, so today I texted you asking if there was really anything to talk about you gave me a negative answer. Such a pitty I was in the mood of telling you how much bullshit you are. Although I really shouldn't get too full of myself, because if it weren't for a friend of mine I'd never be able to realise how spineless I was. Yeah it's weird how her two-sentence statement did a lot more than you ever did.