Another rant

The meaning of life is uncertain,
but mine I do know,
it is to be with you.
The days when you're gone are the hardest,
the nights when I'm alone are the darkest,
the bands that you showed me are the loudest,
but most importantly your actions are the meanest.
I try so hard to get you off of my mind,
but every method is unsuccessful.
You still haunt me,
you're a nightmare I don't want to end.
So this is what life without loves looks like,
nineteen years of being unwanted,
having but a few friends that still care,
one of which I thought you were.
I fell right into your trap,
I give up,
I can't go on,
I want this to end.
As I'm writing this I realise,
I'm saying the words you told me when we first met,
I'm saying the words you wanted to hear from someone else.