Changes ruin people

Simplicity is the answer to an utterly beautiful life, but that is not in our nature. We are the perfect living beings yet we are the most disgusting, most brutal, vile among others. Doing everything that is in your power just to make someone happy, when suddenly someone walks in with what they wish for, with what you were trying to achieve just for them, huh, such a strange world. You won't even receive a thank you, but instead of staying quite you choose to speak with the thought that your words will matter. Haven't you learned anything? If you actions won't matter to them why on earth do you think that your words will make a difference? You will be empty like the day after Christmas, everyone will talk about you, little will like you.
What will happen to you, only time will tell, paranoia will never leave you. Your last hope will burn down, your emotions will be blown out by the tides, you will become what you hate the most.
But that will only happen once the person who screw you over will be asking for your help. Yes, only then you will know what a sadist feels. You will be the one in control, you will be the one hurting people. That is the only feeling worth living for once you are hurt, betrayed, destroyed. That is the only time when your dreams will come real. Only then will your insomnia end, only then you will feel happiness again. None will be able to save them. No one.

Loneliness is my only friend

Whole day spent on thinking, wondering, but mostly being frightened by the thought of being alone. Although I've always felt loneliness, today was the first time I was afraid of it. It's not the being alone thing that scares me, no that is quite normal for me, I'm afraid of being used, I'm afraid of being ignored by those who I love and care about the most. Life is too short to be alone, but sometimes that's the only way out of a crisis. Loneliness is the only friend I really have, she is always there for me. Funny how you always meet new people, ditching your old friends just to hang out with the "cool" people. Endless cycle of screwing around, acting polite just to be liked, but when that fails you are eager to get in touch with the people who gave everything for you. Guess you are nothing more than a user and an abuser. I cannot believe that I fell for your sweet talk, cannot believe that I was lied to.
The more I think about it the more angry I get... I've always tried to help you when you needed it the most, but now once you have no use of me, you just find reasons why not to be around me. I know it's not my fault, well not this time. I know you too well, you got mad because you found someone who can replace me, you found someone that is a better version of me, or at least you think that, like many times before.
In every friendship I had, I ended up being used. I just wonder if I will ever find a real friend. That's why I do not believe in friendship, the only real friends are those who you grew up with, those friends know  your pain, they know your past,present and are helping you build a better future. It's hard to find friends like those, and the people who are willing to stay, well let me put it this way, they deserve a perfect treatment.

Life is about decisions

Life is based on the daily decisions we make. We always have more than one option, we just need to open our eyes in order to see all of the opportunities we have. I remember when we started talking for the first time, we couldn't stand each other but as time passed we became close friends, or so I believed.
I remember when you said that you easily get bored of your friends and I remember how you promised that we will always be friends, I guess I've been lied to again. Quickly after you started socializing you forgot me, I remember when you said that you would never trade me for anything, well now you did. You exchanged me for couple of new friends, I guess I became boring. I one of those "friends" which will always be here for you, but you will only talk to me when you will feel alone because your so called new friends cannot understand you the way I can. You said that it's not your fault, when actually it is. You chose to forget your "old" and "not so cool" friends, but I kind of understand why you continue to do so.
I remember spending nights chatting with you, listening to music together and watching movies. I miss those days, and I miss you even more. I know that I wasn't the best type of a friend but I was me, you lied that you liked me for what I am, you even made me promise that I will never change.
Although whatever you do, I will always support you owing to the fact that you have picked me up so many times. But I think this friendship was not meant to last, I guess we just go our separate ways and try to move on.