Why does every country song sound the same, yet it doesn't?

Part I

Does beauty come from the one who is considered beautiful?
or does it come from my eyes,
filtered pictures by my mind.

Who do I blame for my addiction,
your gorgeous face or my blurry sight,
the lonely mind,
and a broken heart.

Getting used to being sleep deprived,
for I've spent the nights smiling,
and although I regret not sleeping,
I could never regret staying up to talk to you.

Such terrible jokes,
and nerdy thoughts,
fractured phones,
that let us talk.

For the first time I don't have to worry,
for the first time,
where ever I go,
as long as I'm with you,
I can call that place my home.

Part II

Stacking boxes,
playing tetris in your room,
slowly preparing for the worst.

Getting ready for the next step,
learning to swim,
getting your life ready to set sail.

Buy a roll of tin foil so we can make birthday hats that can be used as pizza cone molds

Flirt with the concept of a better life,
search for happiness with all your might.
Fly away,
try to run away,
don't wait,
just try to stay safe.

Can't find peace in this place,
so fly far away at your own pace,
as I await the message of your departure,
I try to hide the tears.

Hope you're well rested,
you'll soon be tested,
by time, don't get outbested,
get your legacy well nested,
cause a long flight's ahead,
longer fights await,
hope the little wings of this birdy can stand,
don't let them get your will to bend.

Did I just get ultied by Faceless Void in real life?

I was 13 when I turned 20,
and after that I never changed.
7 years later I'm still the same age,
hoping that I'll start to grow old.

The only difference,
my posture got worse,
my sight got murky,
but my age still remained the same.

Didn't get any wiser,
i wanted to catch up,
but I only got caught up,
in the grips of your love,
making me think about life,
thinking about the seven twenty years I've lived.

Burn Hollywood Burn was OK at most, right?

Emotions that are slowly cooking like rice,
three hours are more than enough to think about life,
sweet or salty, I am sorry.

Enter our home,
talk as if we are strangers,
throw the curtains,
hide under the trees in the garden,
give the sun for shade.

This always happens,
and as long as this house stands,
I know it'll never end.

Seeing where you're coming from,
I try to change (the pictures on the walls),
I try to fix the furniture (the one you restored),
but that'll never matter when the foundation is shaky.

The house is moving,
along with my thoughts,
can we just agree to burn it all?

If we start again,
should we build something new,
should we try and forget what I put you through?

Or should I burn,
along with this house,
should I just stand still,
and be judged for what I've done.

I was ready,
I think I still am,
I just don't want you around,
in the way you used to be.
I'm ready to burn this all,
I'm ready to burn with it.

With a sight,
with little hope,
I know you'll be able to forget me.

Never remember me,
stop thinking of this,
let these words open the doors,
as I burn within.

Maybe it'll hurt,
or it could bring me a smile,
I just wish I could stay out of your life.

Fly away forever,
forget who I am,
what I stand for.
You built this house,
it's time for me to burn it down.

Throw away the pictures I have painted,
with my words they were created.
You put them up in our living room,
can't believe what I made.

Destroy everything I've ever touched,
erase me from history,
try to become happy,
that's all you'll ever need,
try to become happy,
since you weren't when you were with me.

The art of getting by, is not even art

One week left to live,
four months of which I'll never speak.

People come and enter,
but your make up will always stay on my shirts.
The truth won't matter as long as you smile,
history will repeat,
once more,
we will meet.

Now with space between us,
I had it all.
Now I act with such demeanor,
I had it all.

Soaking wet,
from the tears of the clouds,
yearning our goodbye.
Loved be those poor geese and ducks,
fighting the cold as we hide under our sheets.

No matter the space between us,
I still have you.

With hopes of seeing a rainbow,
fighting over unicorns,
nothing ever happens,
patience,
sleep half of the day,
it's called patience.
Looking so peaceful,
hearing my whisper,
yelling out of fear,
you got up.

Thought you never listened,
thought you never listened,
I thought.
Did you hear,
you're really all I need.

Now with space between us,
I had it all.
No matter the space between us,
I still have you.

One night I'll never forget,
one handed torture devices that make us laugh.
One handed laughing methods leave us bruised through the days,
yet love will spark,
it'll always spark.

As the geese come out of hiding,
we leave our comfort,
entering waters we thought we'd never swim,
drying our thoughts just so we can go back home.

Spent the broken days outspoken,
money sorted, farewell my old friend.
Enter a new chapter,
same spotlight, you became more.

Now with space between us,
I realize,
I love you more than I should.

A two week old cup of homemade lemonade right before I brush my teeth with vinegar

Losing all my trust,
yet I still believe you,
admitting my defeat.

You have lied,
many times before,
and you still told me things,
no body knows.

Showed your true colours,
but never showed your face.
Flirt with the thought of death,
somehow you were stopped,
but this time,
nothing stands in the way,
except for a bottle of rum,
a golden pen and a writing you'll never understand.

Teen Titans isn't the onlything we have in common

Too stupid now,
to be scared with no way out.
Just frowned upon,
saved my face and yet I'm done.

Don't wanna die, wanna die now!
Wouldn't die for me but I'd die for you.
Don't wanna die, wanna die now!
Wouldn't die for me but I'd die for you.

No not this time,
I won't dig my own grave now.
Please stop me love,
to be in all of this mess.
So you can't just see,
for this odd bad broken dream,
just like fantasy.

Are we enemies,
with no energy,
sadly we've been oh so far away,
oh so far away.
Help me make me stay!

Don't wanna die, wanna die now.
Wouldn't die for me but I'd die for you.
Don't wanna die, wanna die now.
Wouldn't die for me but I'd die for you.

Blown out lungs

And so my life it continues to run still,
even after you left me.
All of this time I just wanted to see,
another colour that will paint the sea.

Like a wind,
it's blowing away.
Like the wind,
it goes right by me,
to the ocean where it's hard to see,
where the hell does the land meet.

I wanna move to the place that you know,
try to see everything.
I wanna move to the place that you know,
try seeing everything.

Here I am now,
blowing my lungs out,
on the sea to set the sail.
Do you know what it's like,
to be stuck in the same place.
Do you know what it's like,
to be stuck all on your own.

I wanna lay on top of the deck,
let the sun burn all my skin.
I wanna lay on top of the deck,
let the sun burn off my skin.
I wanna lay on top of the deck,
let the sun burn all my skin.
I wanna lay on top of the deck,
let the sun burn off my skin.

Like a wind,
it's blowing away.
Like the wind,
it goes right by me,
to the ocean where it's hard to see,
just where the hell does the land meet.

I want to stare at the sun,
want to be the only one,
in such times,
your mouth is a gun.
Everything that you can see,
all leads up back to me,
stand motionless like a tree,
all of this,
will fall down inevitably.

I wanna lay on top of the deck,
let the sun burn all my skin.
I wanna lay on top of the deck,
let the sun burn off my skin.
I wanna lay on top of the deck,
let the sun burn all my skin.
I wanna lay on top of the deck,
let the sun burn off my skin.

Charging up my powerbank just so I can sleep with all the elecetricity turned off ( I honestly don't know how to unplug my fax machine so I have to turn everything off in case you decide to fax me something at around 3 am or maybe 4, I just want to sleep )

And so I sit alone,
another day where I'm far away from home,
another day where I'm far away from you.

I spend hours on nothing,
my mind is always up to something,
yet I spend hours on nothing.

The tears from my eyes,
just brighten up my vision,
I felt no pain from the collision.

You noticed that I was crying,
you heard me say I'd rather be dying.
So you started to hate,
hate the things that I purposely laid in your mind.

So much hatred,
yet I feel your love,
so much love,
yet I get wasted.

I don't want to think,
not even for a moment.
I don't want to speak,
things that will make me be dishonest.

Taking a trip in your seatless, restless car (or was I headless and could not find the headrest)

Like mirror to mirror,
we meet,
face to face,
all this talking,
such a disgrace.

Long lasting,
our late night texting.
Long lasting,
our love is in testing.

Being sober for so long,
it is killing me.
Going out to the beach,
is this life in death?
You are one cute thing,
you are something I need,
something I need,
I need something,
something soon.

I'm always filling the blanks,
trying to think of the wisdom,
from those famous prophets,
those who were destroyed by the power,
power of the hippies.
Times to die,
times to be a cosmic hero.
Time does fly,
it flies so high,
high to death.

Is this all a dream or did we actually get married in a virtual chat room game thing?

Let's conjoin our bodies,
become one and the same,
one hug,
lasting forever.

Let's listen to one song on repeat,
rest your head on the car seat,
make sure that it's not 1994,
even thought we are in different cities.

Rush me to the hospital,
take me to the ER,
save me from the waste of a human I'm becoming.

Giving me the love I threw away,
giving me everything I've lost,
I am grateful.

This is where I stop.

You always think of something else. 

I wish you could shoot me a message so we could sort everything out, 

• saying our last goodbye. 

Remember that time you told me that you don't do videos but a week later you sent me a video(which you told me was for your cousin(who doesn't look like a cousin(nor did he act like a cousin)))

Your actions were never put in motion.
The closest thing to "actions" was the time you spent with others.

This will be the longest summer and the warmest winter

Call me a liar,
call me a failure.
I can be whatever you want me to be,
except for a user.
I'd never be your abuser.
I loved you from the bottom of my heart,
but you never believed me,
I loved you even when you wanted me not to.
There's this thing I can never accomplish,
and that is to be with you.
I screwed up,
once or twice.
Maybe more than that...
A lot more...
But I always had respect for you,
and I always will.

I can't believe how someone like you,
someone so gorgeous and pretty,
someone so smart and funny,
would love a failure like me.
How can I believe the words you say,
when you don't even want to spend time with me.
How can I believe that you love me,
when I always got the same answer.

Time after time when I wanted to speak to you,
I got the same answer,
"not now, maybe later".
Well later may never come,
cause I might not be here for long.
I don't want to say this,
but you were a curse and a blessing.
You blessed me with something I thought was love,
you cursed me with emotions I cannot get out of my head.

I cannot love anyone else,
I cannot imagine myself with anyone else.
You are the one that I loved,
you are the one that I'll love.

It's not you,
it's you and your friends,
the stories you've shared.
I understood that I'd never be like them.

I'd waste my nights away just to talk to you,
but the moment when I wanted to hear your voice,
you'd always shut me out,
cut me off.

I might've been paranoid,
who am I kidding I most definitely was.
I still am.
But I know that you will never stay 20,
you're gonna grow older,
be bolder,
you're gonna be stronger,
why would you settle for a weakling like me.

The words you muttered,
with a dozen filters on,
you wanted me to believe them,
when you yourself told me it was for someone else.

I hope I never see you,
just because I know that you wouldn't want to,
I hope I'll never talk to you again,
just because I know that it would kill me.
I know that you wouldn't notice me,
when most of the time,
I recognize you in someone else.

Is this what missing a livestream feels like?

Lonely parking lot,
followed by my lonely mind.
Even if you were here,
I'd still feel the same.

100th post

I thought that my 100th post would be about you but so far the only thing I can think of is the time before I started this stupid blog, the time when I didn't know you, the time when I didn't feel this way.
For now all that I can say is that although thankful for every moment we spent I will never forget what it felt like to read those messages. I'm sorry I was harsh and never did w hat you wanted me to but I never felt loved so I didn't feel like I needed to provide.

Messages in bottles cannot be screenshotted, right?

Forward the messages from your phone,
direct them to the back of my mind,
make sure it's something I'll never forget.

All my choices are things I'll always regret,
as you sleep in his bed,
I let it get to my head,
all the sorrow and dread,
I've ever seen,
no spirit in the waves.

So slowly,
I'm breathing.
So slowly,
I'm living.

When I write I write about you, when you read you read about someone else.

Yes,
everything that was ever said or written,
it was for you.

Although I'm at the parking lot you're still so far away from me (I'm sorry but I have to walk around every hour or so, the parking passes won't check themselves)

Fully furnished,
yet empty,
this apartment is haunted,
by the memories of that night.

I don't remember the numbers,
I only know of the water.
Nothing was washed away,
stuck like the paintings on the wall,
the burdens are mine,
all mine.

How much was wasted away,
as if the food was no good,
my brain got sick of all the stuff my eyes've been feeding on.
Feelings got to hurry,
all the trains are leaving their stations,
slowly going to the abyss.

All the planes have taken flight,
the cars have driven away,
every single ship has sailed,
the horses ran away,
only I've stayed.

Frightened and scared,
this little puppy hides,
it looks for shelter,
in a heart, not the eyes.
Yet the lies,
they make her happy,
she never really knew how to tell them apart.
The people around her laughed,
as the puppy slowly died.

As soon as the love was felt,
the puppy stood strong,
the stains were removed,
and the trains and planes returned,
the apartment felt like home,
and I,
I had you.

Bless in a dress (Or just a coincidence that happened at the right place at the right time, I honestly do not know anymore)

With your new red dress,
you walk with such class,
whenever I see you,
you just push me away.
With your new red dress,
you've made my life a mess.

We used to walk along all through the day,
now I can hardly see you,
just wanna say this to your face,
you empty me out.

Like your new red dress,
you're already stained,
easy to wash it,
yet it'll never change your face.

So a secure network is used for trading, no wonder why I'm only going downhill

It happened again,
I know you like to pretend,
should we dismiss and move on,
try to wash it down and fly off.
At times like this,
I miss home.

You left me again,
you only cause pain,
should I turn away and shrug it off,
or do you still want me to hold on.
For the last time,
I'll carry on.

You told me again,
you tow shared a bed,
should you try and hide it,
acts can't be defied and,
in times like this,
I don't know.

(What's wrong?)
It happened again...
(Can't you carry on?)
It happened again...
Again and again...
(Just stay strong)
Again and again...
(Don't give in)
Again and again...

Buying books off of Amazon is a good hobby if you have time to read them but lately I've been doing that just so I won't have enough money to go out with you

Do not ask,
for you are just a bird,
words won't help,
you just need to fly.

Do not be scared,
for you are just a mouse,
emotions won't help,
you just need to run,

Do not be ashamed,
for you are just a hare,
thinking won't help,
you just need to hop.

You do not need to hide,
you are nothing more than a snake,
slither in their beds,
leave your skin on the pillows,
while still speaking softly,
you spit venomous lies.
Slowly killing me.

Thankfulness is the only thing I have to offer

So,
another wasted day,
but if you ask me,
it was the best one so far.
Can't wait to come home,
just to see you.

I want to make your day better,
because you always make mine.
For that,
I thank you.

Giggle in my memory

When I called you,
you just giggled,
I couldn't see the smile,
but I could somehow feel it.
Tried to face time you,
but our time was up.
No way I'll ever forget,
the moment when I saw you,
I was too scared to say it.
I love you.

All my thoughts have been replaced with lemon-lime ice-cream ( although sweet they are a bit sour and unpleasant, yet I still enjoy them ) - part IV / II

You showed me your wounds,
but you never allowed me to heal them,
you asked for my advice,
but you never listened.

Now you kindly try to stop talking to me,
you politely try to turn down the offer,
the same one you came up with.

Is it because you're scared?
Don't you know I am too?

I've tried running away,
but I always end up coming back to you,
cause you kindly try to let me go,
creating the illusion that you actually care.
Just tell me to get lost,
I'll gladly do so,
but don't blame other's when you think of an excuse to use.

You say that you care,
don't get mad when I won't believe it.
Look at what you've done,
so you can understand the things I'm about to do.

I'm in a city where I'm all alone,
now that you're gone,
there's no place that I can call my home,
there's not a single place where I won't be on my own.

All that I can do is waste my time thinking of you,
that's what happens when I don't have anything smarter to do.
Eat the ice-cream that you loved,
while making the taste become my thoughts.

Another sleepless day because you woke me up in order to have fun while he's gone (Just like in that movie that I cannot remember right now)

Hop, hop, hop,
like a child,
speak, speak, speak,
oh so wild.

Knock on my door,
with no rhythm,
yet just laugh,
get it out of your system,
try to not make it look bad,
while you're laying in his bed.

You said you don't want to get hurt but you don't care when you're hurting someone else, you say it's all his fault and that you didn't know but let's face it, you just wanted to fulfill your lust, for someone who's better, much better. (Or so you believe, I know a thing or two that you don't)

Even the mirrors lie (You do look different in person, although it could be cause I don't have my glasses)/I'm being honest trust me.

To lose everything is impossible,
but losing you was the closest thing to it,
as my habits slowly started to change,
so did you.

In the winter you said goodbye,
making a blizzard.
You wished me good luck,
I just stood frozen.
So in the summer I tried running away from the continent,
went oh so far away,
hoping to never see you again.
Although you're not here,
you're still with me,
I'm just wondering if you ever miss me.

I hope that one day we will start acting like grown ups,
no more hiding, lets break our walnut shells.
Let's just live our lives,
the way we wanted.
Let's just live our lives,
that's all I'm asking for.

You are more than my schizophrenia

Closed off,
with brighter days,
I waste myself,
with no bucks left.

Cold times,
colder waves,
i save myself,
yet nothing's saved.

Just washed away,
that's all I am,
nothing I ever said mattered,
to you,
and to me,
cause that's how we used to be,
one person,
yet two.
We were the same.
and still so different.

Cold times,
colder waves,
you run away,
yet stuck in the same place.

Just washed up,
that's all you are,
tired from,
your old guitar.
Just help me,
and I'll be pleased,
please make me feel,
like I'm at ease.
One person,
yet we're two.

Worn lies,
that hide your face,
just slow down your pace,
you're still in first place.

Is this real,
or am I high,
would you be,
oh so kind,
and be just mine.

Unhappy,
with no hope,
I save myself,
and nothing's saved.

Lost, broken and drunk,
lost, broken and drunk.

Should we listen to our bands?

When you’re suffering the most,
and when you’re lost again,
let me be your GPS,
like I once was.

When you want to cry,
and when you feel like you can’t go on,
we can go to the park,
and sing our favourite songs.

And once you get back on your feet,
feel free to forget me,
even though I’ll still be here,
for when this starts all over again.

I tried watching "City Lights" once but all I could think of through out the first five minutes of the film was about the time you used your flashlight cause the city lights were out

Fuck this city,
I won't stay in it,
these streets are so narrow,
as we're passing by them,
on Friday nights,
I can barely remember.

I swear I meant well,
when we yelled and we shouted,
our love was ignited,
I thought it went well.

So hurry once more,
don't want to be on my own,
oh no,
I don't want to be on my own.

What a summer,
endless bummer,
cause now I'm all alone.

I swear I meant well,
it didn't go well,
I swear I meant well,
I'm sorry for the living hell.

It took me years to figure out that you aren't supposed to open up "spam" messages on your email, I honestly thought I was talking to a prince from Africa (Maybe that's why you don't reply to my messages)

Northern style of an Eastern smile,
a five foot neat pile with an artistic style,
gorgeous human,
friendship trial,
twice it expired,
but my love was hard-wired.

Four years prior,
thoughts in denial,
you changed my music style,
it used to be vile.

Now that you're gone,
moved to Japan,
I realized what you meant,
I realized what you meant.

Will the white board still be white once the colour of the markers successfully blended in with the board (Are you still a "white board" once you get influenced by the people around you)

I sit around just wasting my days,
thinking about your selfish ways,
so I tried to write a poem about you,
but it keeps being about the person I once knew.
Innocent face,
you just walk with such grace,
yet you are a mess,
ruined in a slow pace.
Trust issues is all you have,
so you blame it on my behalf.

Journey,
through my,
shattered dreams of my love.
Journey,
through my,
past if that's what you want.

I hope you know that I loved you,
and till this day I swear it's true,
but I want you to move on,
cause of all the things I "haven't" done.

Couldn't think of a name earlier when you were sitting next to me so I'll just leave it like this and call it "Nameless" or even less than that

It's been a minute,
since you last said goodbye,
I just really hope,
that you'll never ever cry.
I know you're wrong,
yet I'll never tell you why,
trust me when I say,
I would much rather die.

Hold on,
let me breath for a moment,
you say life's too short,
but I really don't feel that,
nights don't pass,
my head is such a mess.
For the love of...
let me get some rest!

IV

Even I am scared,
scared this will just end one day,
I want you to stay.

III

If the consequence,
Is much greater than we planned,
promises be kept.

II

All the solutions,
they seem like they are farfetched,
Don't mess with my head.

I

In these sleepless nights,
my thoughts make me such a mess,
I have welcomed death.

You know when someone asks you what you're thinking about and you don't want to answer but yet you do it in a poem(happens all the time)

Round we go,
around my thoughts,
of the nights,
we never spent together.

Founded emotions,
on paint and ink,
smudged by napkins,
forming a blurry portrait.

Through the eyes of enjoyment,
I try to figure this out,
but I would never be able to make up what you're going on about.

I can see your face in dry paint

The answers you gave,
the truth you didn't speak,
were the things I wanted to hear.

We still have our habits,
we still live our old lives,
hiding the things that shouldn't be seen.

What do we get if our feelings hide in secrecy,
what do we do when the things we love aren't real...

Somehow I love you,
I don't know why,
I need you.

With the energy I have left,
I reach for the remote,
trying to change the channel,
that you're always on.

As i turn the volume down,
you're getting louder,
as I turn off the TV,
you're the only one I can see.

The paintings on the wall,
they all resemble you,
I'd rather watch paint dry,
but there is no escaping you.

The most fun I've had,
it's been a while,
you're everywhere I turn,
haunting me with your smile.

I want this to last forever

The greatest smile I have ever seen,
the most gorgeous voice I'll ever hear,
with stunning eyes that turn me to stone,
I feel like a child when I'm around you.

The little time that we spend together,
I wish it would last forever.
Talk about nonsense,
yet laugh at everything.

We create memories,
with only our fingertips,
never mind the spoken words that cannot be heard,
we make promises based on what we've observed.

The girl I loved so well

With my memory,
of you holding me,
and with everything,
that I wanted to be.

I'll remember the day you stood near,
with your smile and hugs,
all my dreams were done.

With my fantasy,
of you being by me,
I fall asleep,
in this misery.

I'll remember the day you left me,
with tears in our eyes,
everything that I loved was gone.

With my sanity,
I turn a new leaf,
but you're still in it,
and that's all I need.

I'll meet you again to make new memories,
with your hugs and love,
I'll have all that I need.

For when I'll finally sleep,
you will be with me,
holding you dear,
now it is clear,
you're all that I need,
to feel fulfilled

Please hurry

Hurry I am afraid,
I don't want to be alone,
I don't want to suffer.

Hurry come and save me once more,
be the place I can call home,
I don't want to die alone.

Hurry I cannot breath,
everything that I can see is unfamiliar to me,
I don't know what I know,
but I'm almost certain,
I don't want to be alone.

You're the only person I trust,
I long for someone to save me,
how I need someone to save me.
Hurry be that someone,
hurry I'm shaking,
I don't want to die alone.

Hurry now, make the loneliness disappear,
I can't stand not having you around,
without you I'll forever be alone.
So hurry,
please,
hurry.

Poem written by B.L.M.

My depression, and my anxiety are dating. I'm a third wheel and they take me everywhere they go. I'm always a third wheel in the theatre, restaurant and I'm the best third wheel when I'm at home. All by myself.

Apple of anguish

Emotions covering,
and I'm suffering,
and I can't stand this.
I'm calling your name,
late at night,
when I'm alone,
I put up the biggest fight.

You were a forbidden fruit,
even your name implyed it,
I loved you, I still do,
and I can't hide that.
You are the apple,
not because I regret it,
but because I can never have it.

I try to act as if I don't care,
but all I do is just think of you.
As the time waves off the opportunities,
I can only hope that one day,
maybe one day,
I'll be free of this suffering,
that one day,
our paths will collide,
one day,
maybe one day...