A whole box of grain stuck in my throat

Finding my thoughts,
as I gather the right words,
here I am listening loudly,
as you speak so calmly.

I'd let you take me to hell,
just to hold your hand,
one last time.

And now I'm missing the days,
when I didn't have to stare at the ceiling,
with all the words in my throat,
no wonder you find me misleading.

Won't you turn off the engine,
roll up the windows,
sit in silence, alone, with me.

Charging up my powerbank just so I can sleep with all the elecetricity turned off ( I honestly don't know how to unplug my fax machine so I have to turn everything off in case you decide to fax me something at around 3 am or maybe 4, I just want to sleep )

And so I sit alone,
another day where I'm far away from home,
another day where I'm far away from you.

I spend hours on nothing,
my mind is always up to something,
yet I spend hours on nothing.

The tears from my eyes,
just brighten up my vision,
I felt no pain from the collision.

You noticed that I was crying,
you heard me say I'd rather be dying.
So you started to hate,
hate the things that I purposely laid in your mind.

So much hatred,
yet I feel your love,
so much love,
yet I get wasted.

I don't want to think,
not even for a moment.
I don't want to speak,
things that will make me be dishonest.

Another sleepless day because you woke me up in order to have fun while he's gone (Just like in that movie that I cannot remember right now)

Hop, hop, hop,
like a child,
speak, speak, speak,
oh so wild.

Knock on my door,
with no rhythm,
yet just laugh,
get it out of your system,
try to not make it look bad,
while you're laying in his bed.

You said you don't want to get hurt but you don't care when you're hurting someone else, you say it's all his fault and that you didn't know but let's face it, you just wanted to fulfill your lust, for someone who's better, much better. (Or so you believe, I know a thing or two that you don't)