My wish

Made a wish, but it didn't come true,
I wanted to be only with you.
Instead I got the thing I hate the most,
a hand full of people that I don't even know.
I got the life I never wanted
Always ending back where I started.
The path we walk is more than just the present,
we are building our future, together,
and somehow we are always alone.
We are together spending time with the people we can't stand,
spending our days knowing that we all just pretend.
I'm tired of being spineless,
lost and as hopeless as much I am lifeless.
Spending my days the way you want me to,
althought I know I leave it as it is,
and it is all because of your tease.
Can all of this be changed,
can my wish finally be embraced,
I can never love what I got,
as long as it's not what I want.

Lost between doors

Forward you go, although your life stands still. Left, you look, trying to catch a glimpse of the things you don't know. Right, you think, you think as this is your creation. Backwards, you speak, making no sense as you freely roam the hall, the hall of life, opening doors that should forever remain shut, causing pain and distress, causing meltdowns. As you open one door you close another, leaving me behind in a room with light slowly fading. As darkness surrounds me, you lock the door, never looking back, forward you go!

World based on lies is not what we enjoy

Why are we such cowards,
afraid to admit our feelings,
or just to say what's on our minds.

Why do we keep hiding behind masks
thinking that we are protecting the future,
always ending up as our dream's butcher.

How are we not tired of telling lies,
running off in secret playing spies,
to end up finding that love is what everyone wants before they die.

Mutual feelings are real,
we shouldn't be afraid to admit our love,
it's better to be rejected than to run away,
after all life is in our sway.

I can't believe how frequently we ruin something beautiful,
just because of our fears,
just because of our selves,
only to end up blaming others.

Repeated story

I got used to you,
now time doesn't go by without you.
I got used to you,
that I cannot even smile when you're not around.
I got used to you using,
there's no point in whining now yet I still do it.
Can't believe what I did for you,
was I just a toy?
At least you had fun,
you had a blast,
while I slowly think of every word you said.
It hurts me to see you go,
but it hurts more when you're around.
You want attention
although you never gave it,
how can you say you meant anything different
when the only thing you want is causing pain.
You brought loneliness back in my life,
everywhere you go disaster follows,
but you keep on going,
never looking back, not even once.
And now you dare stand infront of me calling me a friend,
how dare you appear before my eyes,
how dare you enter my life once more,
how dare you say that this time it'll be different,
when deep down we both know you're wrong.

Save me

Come and save me now,
I need you here,
I must have you somehow.
Come and save me now,
show me your blue eyes
win me over with your lies.
Come and save me now,
come and warm my heart,
just come and do your part.
I do not ask much,
just please show me love,
Take my spirit and lift it above.
come and save me now,
heal my wounds,
and keep making me laugh.
Show me how to love once more,
show me how to make the hatred go,
show me how to stand strong,
Just please help me not to feel so alone.
Come and save me now,
for you are my only hope.

The story of a student

So you got everything off your chest,
thinking that I will regret my actions,
wanting me to face the sanctions.
You told me I was a know-it-all,
and you wanted me to believe your lies,
you built a wall of emotions,
slowly following my motions,
and proclaiming I'm a fraud,
maybe just maybe you are mad cause I'm better.
What I say is what I know,
What I don't know is what I learn,
you say what you think is right,
not checking facts,
you say it with all your might,
your mind is a paradox,
you said that we were similar,
but I rarely get offended when someones different.
We had the same goal,
but on your way you fell down a hole,
now you are broken with dreams shattered,
so you decided to be my master,
in every story the student becomes better,
you sold out,
so i made my life matter,
you taught me everything you knew,
but your words were wrong,
therefore I left your temple,
I went my own way,
and became something greater,
I surpassed your prodigy son,
and now,now you went on a hunt,
but this time the hunter is being hunted,
the battle of two mind has started,
but I am being hated and villainized for something I didn't do
while you are adored cause you do just that, nothing,
I cannot remember the last time I learned something,
but all you do is take credit for someone else's work
such selfishness and jealousy,
you sicken me!

Letter 4: Badb M.

The last person I trust, somehow I knew tat disaster would struck. You gained my respect now you are slowly killing me.
Badb, I was always there for you, yet you never bothered to ask me if I needed help. You used me just like those that were here before you. I thought I was strong but my heart cannot take this any longer.
But whatever, it's my fault. I don't blame you. I allowed this to happen.
I guess I never learn, but that is something I love about myself!
I don't care anymore, cause when I did it only pulled me down! And enough is enough. I was the one saying that we are responsible for the course our lives take, I said that nothing is predetermined yet I gave up.
I failed more than I succeeded so I gave up. And then what did I do? Nothing! I sat down in a dark room blaming you because you never wondered how I was doing. I blamed you for not being me.
Now I figured that  I was the one who allowed you to do so. I shouldn't be angry at you and I'm not! I'm angry at myself for being a weak and scared bastard, a bastard who was too afraid to take control and hurt your feelings from time to time.
If there is someone who fucked everything up, it's me so I don't know why I was expecting someone to listen to my problems. Why did I thought that you of all people would help me... What was I thinking.... Was it because you told me that you'd always be by my side?
Why did I believe the words of a liar? I remember when you talked crap about people that you disliked back then, should I say that they are your new found friends? You were calling them fat,stupid and ugly, but unlike me you didn't believe that or so it seemed. You were either lying back then because the friends you had were still around or you really meant those things but you befriended them because you lost your old friends.
You disgust me now. I cannot stand you but for whatever reason I cannot ditch you. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just can't do what you do. I don't want to do what you do. I don't want to become you!