Please hurry

Hurry I am afraid,
I don't want to be alone,
I don't want to suffer.

Hurry come and save me once more,
be the place I can call home,
I don't want to die alone.

Hurry I cannot breath,
everything that I can see is unfamiliar to me,
I don't know what I know,
but I'm almost certain,
I don't want to be alone.

You're the only person I trust,
I long for someone to save me,
how I need someone to save me.
Hurry be that someone,
hurry I'm shaking,
I don't want to die alone.

Hurry now, make the loneliness disappear,
I can't stand not having you around,
without you I'll forever be alone.
So hurry,
please,
hurry.

Poem written by B.L.M.

My depression, and my anxiety are dating. I'm a third wheel and they take me everywhere they go. I'm always a third wheel in the theatre, restaurant and I'm the best third wheel when I'm at home. All by myself.

Apple of anguish

Emotions covering,
and I'm suffering,
and I can't stand this.
I'm calling your name,
late at night,
when I'm alone,
I put up the biggest fight.

You were a forbidden fruit,
even your name implyed it,
I loved you, I still do,
and I can't hide that.
You are the apple,
not because I regret it,
but because I can never have it.

I try to act as if I don't care,
but all I do is just think of you.
As the time waves off the opportunities,
I can only hope that one day,
maybe one day,
I'll be free of this suffering,
that one day,
our paths will collide,
one day,
maybe one day...

Battlefield of love

Emotional fortress built with broken stones,
Battle ram rushing a chill down my bones. 
Forecast rain and mist, 
Cutting down my sight, 
Loud cries followed by their echoes,
On this battlefield of love.
Throwing spears and arrows, 
Shaped as yelled sentences,
Directed at my heart,
Even the quiet whispers are able to do their part.

As the gates came crushing, 
You just stood still. 
Saw what was inside,
Witnessed the terror within,
Giving up the fight,
Ending it with one touch. 
Our shields were thrown away,
Your ships were waiting at bay,
As tears fall on your face, 
I stand broken.

This short war, 
Lasted an eternity,
Although no casualties, 
We mourn as if it were millions. 
Love is gone, 
Yet death is missing.
It is over,
Yet we are both hurting. 
Saying we are happy during our breakdowns, 
I try to hide it, 
But I will always love you 

I need you

The longest summer break,
was the hardest one I had to face.
Met a lot of new people,
but I lost you.
No one can replace the space you freed up,
this is not what we agreed upon.
This trusting,
disgusts me,
I did what I said I would,
but you never tried to do what you could.
The words of love were unclear,
yet I believed you when you shed a tear.
I believed you when you cried,
and I still want to believe you even when you lie.
After everything you did,
I forgive you.
After everything you said,
I need you.

Another rant

The meaning of life is uncertain,
but mine I do know,
it is to be with you.
The days when you're gone are the hardest,
the nights when I'm alone are the darkest,
the bands that you showed me are the loudest,
but most importantly your actions are the meanest.
I try so hard to get you off of my mind,
but every method is unsuccessful.
You still haunt me,
you're a nightmare I don't want to end.
So this is what life without loves looks like,
nineteen years of being unwanted,
having but a few friends that still care,
one of which I thought you were.
I fell right into your trap,
I give up,
I can't go on,
I want this to end.
As I'm writing this I realise,
I'm saying the words you told me when we first met,
I'm saying the words you wanted to hear from someone else.

Characters slowly change

Hooked, I think is the word,
addicted, is what I am.
Your absence is slowly killing me,
I can't take it, not used to it,
never will be.
Your perfume, your smile, your kindness,
somethings never stay the same.
How I hoped,
and for the first time I even prayed.
You never came back.