Another rant

The meaning of life is uncertain,
but mine I do know,
it is to be with you.
The days when you're gone are the hardest,
the nights when I'm alone are the darkest,
the bands that you showed me are the loudest,
but most importantly your actions are the meanest.
I try so hard to get you off of my mind,
but every method is unsuccessful.
You still haunt me,
you're a nightmare I don't want to end.
So this is what life without loves looks like,
nineteen years of being unwanted,
having but a few friends that still care,
one of which I thought you were.
I fell right into your trap,
I give up,
I can't go on,
I want this to end.
As I'm writing this I realise,
I'm saying the words you told me when we first met,
I'm saying the words you wanted to hear from someone else.

Characters slowly change

Hooked, I think is the word,
addicted, is what I am.
Your absence is slowly killing me,
I can't take it, not used to it,
never will be.
Your perfume, your smile, your kindness,
somethings never stay the same.
How I hoped,
and for the first time I even prayed.
You never came back.

I am sad

Intimidated,
anxious,
miserable.
Scared
and
dying.
Inferior,
depressed.
Rejected,
afraid,
terrified,
hopeless,
envious,
rundown.
Broken,
empty.
Disturbed,
exhausted,
abandoned,
dead.

For you I will do my best

Slowly you disappear into the past,
yet you are buried in my thoughts which I'm forcing to last.
Everything that you do,
finds a way to touch my heart,
and every word you say,
shows the beauty of your art.
Your bleached white hair,
perfect smile,
cute little nose,
an honest representation of your soul.
You say you want to give up,
but you don't have to go.
You're not alone, nor will you ever be,
you fought hard, now you got me.
Your bleached white hair,
perfect smile,
cute little nose,
please stay for a while.
You fought hard, now you got me,
you're not alone, nor will you ever be.