Shoulders, knees and bows

 My mind and heart are working overtime,

when I came to visit we drank wine,

and right then and there you kissed me on the cheek,

oh how I miss my beloved September of 24.

In that month we forgot the pain,

do you remember when we got soaked in the rain,

we laughed as you held my hand,

oh how I miss my beloved September of 24.

In that year we felt so alive,

oh how I miss my beloved 24,

and in that month we shared a kiss,

oh how I miss my beloved September of 24,

the sleepless weeks are always more fun,

oh how I miss my beloved September of 24.

Send me back to when my heart was full,

us together snugged in your room,

freeze the time and let us relive,

everything we had in my beloved September of 24.

Am I the only one in this institution that thinks running Windows XP is valid?

A king once said,

only jesters rush head first,

well consider me the circus,

because that's all I do

The priest once told me,

love is the biggest blessing,

but he forgot about the heartache,

that can't be covered by a dressing.

And the fool was the wisest,

he kept his mouth shut,

didn't speak a single word,

just because he thought he knew the truth.

When games are played,

no one mentions that we both lose,

even if everyone is talking,

the alcohol keeps me deaf.

The baker once whispered,

you'll be damned if you do,

but he forgot to mention,

you'll regret it if you don't.

And the doctor once mumbled,

time heals all,

I guess it was a lame excuse,

for him not to do his job.

Or is everything they said true,

and I'm the one that has no clue,

am I lost and alone,

endlessly swimming in the blue.

Now the king, priest and fool,

the baker, doctor and town folk,

fall asleep early at night,

while I'm stuck to the bottle like glue.

I still wouldn't drive a car even if I had a license

 Days and nights merge,
fogging up my memory, 
craving for my youth,
craving for my childhood.

Every day is the same,
I'm covered in mundane,
the fire has burned out,
the spark is completely gone.

Drowning in my misery,
I'm surfing in the waves of my tears,
I'm homeless and broken,
since the day I ran from my sanity.

Turned my back on my goals,
backstabbed my own heart,
left my aspirations bleeding out,
lost, I'm hopeless.

How on God's green earth did a donkey marry a dragon?

She's going to throw a fit,
when she finds out that the birds aren't fed,
and she'll hold the sharpest knife,
to all the promises I gave.

Hold the phone,
and take a deep breath.

The birds they flew away,
as soon as the cold winter came,
the flowers they hid,
beneath the white snow lid.

They went your way,
are you OK?
Will you keep them fed?

Is it OK,
can you keep them safe?

Unlikely Bus Stop Blues

I've been trying to move out on my own,
ever since you left me so alone.
You laughed with a smile on your pretty face,
can't seem to find myself in the right place.

I've been trying to move on,
I've been trying to move on.

Sitting alone as the cars drove by,
the headlights are preying on my own mind.
Figures on the wall they remind me of you,
why the fuck am I so fucking blue,
without you.

My bed still smells of you.
Your hair,
you dress,
and pretty face.

4 50 pm / 4 50 am

26/10/2021

Thousand kilometers away,
still only the thoughts of you stay.

The day i first met you I was younger,
dumber and kinder,
and although your love kept me sane,
I can't shake the feeling of being it in vain.

You were the best friend a man could ask,
the therapist I craved,
oh how you're so dearly needed.

I'm writing while you're still here,
but I know the day will soon come,
I know I'm not ready for a goodbye.

2/11/2021

It's been a week since I last saw you,
and I really don't know what to do.

On my way home broken hearted,
got no one to come to,
I feel so departed.

You were a good friend and a better psychologist,
the words you spoke meant more than the gin,
and the hugs that you gave kept saving my dreams.

Knew you the longest,
and I loved you the most,
still can't believe that it's all lost.

Watching you grow was a blessing,
even when you threw your fits,
I already miss everything that you had to give.

At least I hope you're resting well till the day I see you again,
try to stay safe and don't change for anything.

I will always love you,
I will never forget you

I swear the smell of gas in the vegeta only made it tastier

I made a promise that I couldn’t keep,
never brought her for you to meet.
Now there’s sorrow occupying my room,
can tomorrow please come real soon.

From the stories you’ve told me,
I thought you were the best,
tell me again all about your past,
please just one last time tell me about your past.

How you met him,
and how you got into fights,
how you ran away,
and how happy you were that day.

I want to hear your stories,
just one last time,
record all the memories,
so they’ll never die.

Smile one last time,
for me to remember,
get angry, give it one more try,
you said you won’t surrender.

Bring forth the thunder,
that your voice resembled,
waddle to the kitchen,
when you fed the rebel.

Who am I kidding,
you’re in a better place,
I know I’ll never see you again,
hope you know what you meant.

The alcohol keeps talking to me more than you

 I don't think anybody here wants to waste time,
just like the way you enjoy wasting mine.
My mind's been mining memories,
where you lied behind your teeth.

I've been drinking booze as medicine,
I can feel my liver giving in,
to the pressure of my kin.

So please don't stop,
hit full speed, go on,
crash for all I care,
I just hope I won't be there

The 8 mile walk to the time machine Bugs Bunny used when he was Lost in Time

Trapped in my head,
not knowing where home is,
this must be the reason,
why I can't control this.

The love behind your smile,
being ahead for a mile,
can't catch up,
even if I run all the while.

Kind ventures, 
hidden behind your gestures,
buried by the tough, harsh texture,
of my mind's ill lecture.

The bottle is a friend,
with a problem that sees no end,
following a destructive trend,
whenever you're not holding my hand.

When I try to think of the things I want to hear all I come to is a stalemate

 I've been contemplating writing my suicide note for so long,
but all I've written so far was a less than a mediocre song.

Can't stand my tired eyes and crooked smile,
waiting in the same line as my hope has been dying all the while.
As I try to melt off my body,
I grow out of my bones,
spending time on things that are tearing down homes.
Been isolated,
yet the drinks are missing,
been suffering,
yet the days are a blessing.

Times of anew await,
but the papers are still haunting,
will today be the day that I learn to love me?

The things that never will (or was it the Will that never thinks? Honestly it's been so long that I forgot)

I stargaze in my own room,
with thought of holding you.

The melody of songs I don't know,
make me wonder what there is to behold.
With a gentle laugh,
I stand starstruck by your words.

Like a child I stand below it all,
seeing colour that aren't letting you go,
as the stars paint a portrait of your smile,
I am caught stargazing in my own room.

And the sky turns back to white,
as the ceiling lights up from the cars passing by,
but the thought of you stands still.
The thought of the things that never will.

The years go fast when you're just a little fly that has no perception of time

 I've seen you going through my thoughts again,
try to make up of what's inside my head,
slowly reading through my old mess.

Haunted by the past in the present,
the remarks that were made all lacked of presence,
everything I said is just void in essence.
Sincerity for us was an abundance of lies,
so we blossomed into wingless, motionless flies,
haunted by the present in the past.

So once again,
I've written the issues on a list,
trying to find out the gist.

Riding a rickshaw through the uneven lines in my hair that I made when I tried cutting my hair

 I tried to be a changed man,
so I shaved the sides of my head,
but it quickly grew back out,
now I'm drowning in pointless doubt.

Could it be what you said,
cause it haunts me when I'm in bed.
Few words on repeat,
just seem stuck in my head.

I tried to be a changed man,
but habits don't die young,
running up on empty,
ever since I left me.
And my confidence is tanking,
I just need my better half,
but they're all getting busy
with things that never meant.
So how's the weather, lady?
and is your dog eating well?
Should I bother bout your family,
cause you seem so uninterested.

A not so titanic move from someone who wants to be called a man

So now the girl I want you to be is just a memory.
And you may not be a hero, maybe that is not you.
You may not be out to save the world, but you saved mine.

And that geometry test, 
the one I know you haven’t studied for it,
even though it’s next period, 
I know you’ll ace it.
Like you always do.

I’m sorry for telling myself you’re what I want you to be,
and I’m sorry for ordering the pizza you’re allergic to, 
I thought you still enjoyed it.
Things change,
as they should. 

But it doesn’t mean that my memory of you will,
you’ll forever be my friend,
you’ll forever have a home, 
and most importantly you’ll forever be in my memories.

The story of the anthropomorphic pizza that's been laying there for a few weeks now

I got you on my mind,
haunting me most of the time,
like 24/7-11,
pizza on my floor,
laughing at the matter,
of me locking my bedroom door.

Fearful of the fact,
that you always come back,
keeping windows shut,
just to keep the thought out.

Middle age crisis hits harder when it's before the quarter age crisis

At twenty-two,
I can’t afford spending my life with you.
And once I hit forty-four,
I’ll make sure to never cross the front door.

Half way down,
holding a glass in which I always drown,
waste the nights on sin,
just to hold everything within.

And now at thirty-three,
I hope I’m happy with me.
Praise the mistakes and tethered sounds,
hold me down cause I overstepped the bounds.

I wouldn't pull a Hannibal on you, I just want to understand what you're going through... Wait.... Wasn't he a psychiatrist?

I just wanna wake up,
wearing your skin,
see from your humble perspective,
the pain gone undetected.

And I just gotta hold on,
to your words,
feel the sorrow and sadness,
masked by redness,
of your cheeks,
when you go on your own,
listening to the same songs,
just to be reminded of your old friends.

I just wanna wake up,
right beside you,
see how peaceful you are,
now that the pain has gone,
away.

FB Group where we all pretend we are in the same venue

Within a prison of pictures and songs,
humming birds listening to my shameful tones.

Screaming my lungs out,
to the lyrics that I read wrong,
acting as if this venue is still my own.

With a lonely ghost inside my home,
I am stuck between flesh and bone,
with nothing but memories going through my veins,
poor choices with consequences that remain.

The line-up is nonexistent,
and the scrapbook setlist insufficient,
now I know why you called yourself a musician.

Within a prison of rights and wrongs,
your heart is what I want to call my home.

Katherine what do you keep in your Knapsack?

Last time we spoke,
you called out my cheek bones,
with a soft touch,
smile's born.

But no one can love you,
the way that you'd want to.
When they're with you.

So you stand up,
and you brush off,
move on,
and got out.

But you can't be faithful,
if you want to be strong,
you're never wrong.

Yet no one can love you,
the way that you'd want to,
when they see you.

Saw you on an AD today

Oh how I'm longing for the days,

when I could get you off my mind in many many ways.
From the fresh air,
all the way to the rum glasses amongst the masses.

Heavy breaths followed by the sounds of the skipping steps,
the conversations about chairs and short lived laughs.
How I long for the days,
where I could see my friends.

The world was our safe space,
ridden with alcohol,
my thoughts were all in place,
without you in my sight.

Now every breath,
every sip,
every step,
and every laugh,
remind me of the days when I could fall in love.

And if I could I would,
I would fall in love with another girl.
Another girl that's not you.