4 50 pm / 4 50 am

26/10/2021

Thousand kilometers away,
still only the thoughts of you stay.

The day i first met you I was younger,
dumber and kinder,
and although your love kept me sane,
I can't shake the feeling of being it in vain.

You were the best friend a man could ask,
the therapist I craved,
oh how you're so dearly needed.

I'm writing while you're still here,
but I know the day will soon come,
I know I'm not ready for a goodbye.

2/11/2021

It's been a week since I last saw you,
and I really don't know what to do.

On my way home broken hearted,
got no one to come to,
I feel so departed.

You were a good friend and a better psychologist,
the words you spoke meant more than the gin,
and the hugs that you gave kept saving my dreams.

Knew you the longest,
and I loved you the most,
still can't believe that it's all lost.

Watching you grow was a blessing,
even when you threw your fits,
I already miss everything that you had to give.

At least I hope you're resting well till the day I see you again,
try to stay safe and don't change for anything.

I will always love you,
I will never forget you

I swear the smell of gas in the vegeta only made it tastier

I made a promise that I couldn’t keep,
never brought her for you to meet.
Now there’s sorrow occupying my room,
can tomorrow please come real soon.

From the stories you’ve told me,
I thought you were the best,
tell me again all about your past,
please just one last time tell me about your past.

How you met him,
and how you got into fights,
how you ran away,
and how happy you were that day.

I want to hear your stories,
just one last time,
record all the memories,
so they’ll never die.

Smile one last time,
for me to remember,
get angry, give it one more try,
you said you won’t surrender.

Bring forth the thunder,
that your voice resembled,
waddle to the kitchen,
when you fed the rebel.

Who am I kidding,
you’re in a better place,
I know I’ll never see you again,
hope you know what you meant.

The alcohol keeps talking to me more than you

 I don't think anybody here wants to waste time,
just like the way you enjoy wasting mine.
My mind's been mining memories,
where you lied behind your teeth.

I've been drinking booze as medicine,
I can feel my liver giving in,
to the pressure of my kin.

So please don't stop,
hit full speed, go on,
crash for all I care,
I just hope I won't be there

The 8 mile walk to the time machine Bugs Bunny used when he was Lost in Time

Trapped in my head,
not knowing where home is,
this must be the reason,
why I can't control this.

The love behind your smile,
being ahead for a mile,
can't catch up,
even if I run all the while.

Kind ventures, 
hidden behind your gestures,
buried by the tough, harsh texture,
of my mind's ill lecture.

The bottle is a friend,
with a problem that sees no end,
following a destructive trend,
whenever you're not holding my hand.

When I try to think of the things I want to hear all I come to is a stalemate

 I've been contemplating writing my suicide note for so long,
but all I've written so far was a less than a mediocre song.

Can't stand my tired eyes and crooked smile,
waiting in the same line as my hope has been dying all the while.
As I try to melt off my body,
I grow out of my bones,
spending time on things that are tearing down homes.
Been isolated,
yet the drinks are missing,
been suffering,
yet the days are a blessing.

Times of anew await,
but the papers are still haunting,
will today be the day that I learn to love me?

The things that never will (or was it the Will that never thinks? Honestly it's been so long that I forgot)

I stargaze in my own room,
with thought of holding you.

The melody of songs I don't know,
make me wonder what there is to behold.
With a gentle laugh,
I stand starstruck by your words.

Like a child I stand below it all,
seeing colour that aren't letting you go,
as the stars paint a portrait of your smile,
I am caught stargazing in my own room.

And the sky turns back to white,
as the ceiling lights up from the cars passing by,
but the thought of you stands still.
The thought of the things that never will.